If you had told me twenty years ago that there would one day be a game staring both Sonic and Mario and it would be set in East London of all places, I would have literally spat on your back! What is this world coming too!

Dr Ashen is dicing with death with all the chemical soaked, knock off crap he comes into contact with.

I hate Macs 'cus I can't afford one.

Paris 'cus she is a natural fit with the town of Swindon.

So they're as useful as a teapot? I like tea, I'd find that quite useful.

How about saying they are as tasty as a dog stools teapot?

"Reasonable but a bit shit" - Microsoft's new advertising slogan

Dubstep ruins everything.

I'll let you make the female nurses wear PVC if you're cool with me making all the male nurses wear full rubber uniforms!

"C++0x" looks to me like the ASCII art representation of a depraved sex act involving barbed wire and as such is considered "extreme porn" under English law!

Zuckerburg - He's the mac daddy of the advertising industry!

I brought a cheap £5 vodaphone Nokia a few months back and as well as calls and texts it has a torch and a calculator!

I guess technically though those are kinda classed apps though - the "find your keys in the dark doorway app" and the "I'm very stingy and insist on only paying for own food and drinks when I go out for a meal with someone rather than paying an equal share app".

Paris, 'cus she's also technically classed as an app too!

What, polluting the planet with yet more unusable xboxes - hows that the right thing! Stupid Microsoft should of made a console that actually works in the first place. They treat physical products the same as their shoddy software - when users start complaining about how shit it is they just send out a bloated update. Only instead of a Windows update shoved down a few interwebz tubes, this time is its a big box of badly bodged together cheap Chinese made electronics shoved through your letter box!*

*Yes I know that's gotta be one big-ass letter box, hence the Paris icon!

These scroungers you are on about receive job seekers allowance and they already have "to work for their money" - its called job hunting. If they don't do it they loose their benefits. I think you are getting "unfit for work" and "lazy" mixed up again. Yes there will be some scroungers but don't kid yourself that most benefit recipients are out there living a luxury lifestyle on your tax money cos they aint.

Paris, 'cus she can scrounge off me any time she likes!

Shall we stop clearing up the litter from your street, maintaining your local park and all the other "free stuff" you get as well then? Are you actually saying that people who cannot work because of health issues should not have the right to have a "lifestyle". Yeah, all the severally disabled people with life limiting conditions will be over joyed hearing that, knowing that they will be fed and housed but can get to hell if they think they are entitled to a little money so that they can leave their home now and then for a day out or to visit family or buy a computer to use the interwebz.

Most people who don't work actually don't work because there are not enough jobs or they cant work. Daily Mail is that way son. Go read it if you want to believe all the myths about benefits claimants. You'll probably love it.

In my opinion Titus Technophobe, those who trott out the "hard working families" line are usually selfish idiots who don't actually work hard at all. You think you work hard but compared to some people in this world, your life is so easy. If you don't like it then you can stop sending you kids to state school, stop using the NHS and getting all your prescribed drugs for free, stop using the public road network - you get the idea, all that "socialist toilet" stuff you use all the time. You're probably depriving a family that works harder than you do of its use.

I can write better music on a sodding Commodore Amiga! Na it must be the "professionally" produced video that cost actual money.

Don't take my Paris! Please! Seriously, don't, she is responsible for most of my upvotes (experience points) thanks to all the cheap shots I have at her expense!

The Frycon idea is good, quite interesting in fact - boom boom.

Maybe replace the grammar Nazi one with the Guardian's logo?

An icon representing Big Society? Maybe it could be a boarded up council library or a malnourished child?

Picture of a fluffy kitten for hard hitting serious stories? I'm out of ideas now.

A certain newsagents outside a railway station somewhere on the Portsmouth to Waterloo line buys their fags at tescos and sells them over the going rate! Well at least did a couple of years back, not sure if they still do. I know because I asked for twenty Bensons' once and the lady behind the till said "sorry, we aint got any as I ain't been to tescos yet!"

"milk their now-ancient cash cows of Zelda, Metroid, Mario, etc"

Urm, that's a good thing if you ask me! And they're hardly unique in doing so - remind me how many GTA, Halo or COD games there are now? The game industry is all about squeezing cash from those polygonal udders!

Also how is one FPS not essentially a remake of all the ones that came before it. COD is basically Doom with bad voice acting and prettier graphics.

Paris, 'cus I mentioned udders.

If someone in the seat, or a few seats, in front of you is using a laptop on the class 444 or 450, look up at the glass luggage racks above the seating - they reflect the screen image quite often - it's handy for spying! Well actually, its handy if you want to be bored stiff watching someone work on a spread sheet or watching last-nights EastEnders on iPlayer. I did once see someone coding on the train though - probably one of you lot lol!

Install windows on your machines too, statistically it will make you live longer and you will get more sex!

I have nothing to say on the matter actually.

Well not everyone uses porn for wanking you know. I quite enjoy looking at porn for its comedy value or for new ideas to try out.

This is serious comment by the way, not a joke one.