<<I like the idea - Andus' whining about his lack of benefits indicates poor planning on his part. If he'd waited to be fired, he would have received beneifts. On the other hand, if you happen to be able to find another employer easily, the golden parachute makes for a nice fat bonus>>.
Not really whining, the benefits came at the end of the "parachute" time. It was my gamble, didn't work out. Bugger Hall jobs around - NSN, now Nokia and other redundancies pretty much flooded the telecom. market. Native Finns always win against foreigners. My bad, I guess. Not enough understanding of Finnish social security system.
Still, cleared my loans, now sitting in a pub...Can't be all bad!
Payoff is based on length of service. I'd done 10 years in Finland, they added 4 years to that. 14 months pay.
€60,000 sounded great (better than hanging around like a dead corpse for the statutary 4 months).
Downsides:
1) Yep, the writer is correct - you don't get (earnings-related*, if youre in an unemployment fund) unemloyment benefit for the 14 months calculated, i.e. the time the "Golden Parachute" would be income
2) Taxman thinks he's died and gone to heaven! Because it's paid as a lump sum, I got 52% shaved straight off the top, instead of the 30% I was paying.
3) You can't get that much help from employment office, because you've 'voluntarily resigned'. In fact, they 'stop' the benefits for 90 days, but that's swallowed up by the above golden parachute time.
Fuck*ing laugh, when I got my "under threat of redundancy" interview/letter, it said precisely that - under threat. However, my manager at the time said in an e-mail "you WILL be made redundant" (her capital letters) so it was a rock and a hard place scenario. I still have that e-mail, might come in useful one day...I believe that was an illegal statement from an Officer of the company.
IMHO - stick with the 'standard' legal** redundancy, don't take the poisoned chalice. You get more gummint help.
*earnings-related. Gives me about €1500/month. For almost 2 years. Better than the UK, God What?
** IIRC, standard, in my case, 4 years service equates to 2 months, 8 years 4, and 12 years 6
Or does that thing look more like something you'd light the blue touchpaper on November 5th? I could buy something more impressive from Tesco.
Doesn't look like a *real* rocket to me. But, I s'pose if it's looking for CO2, I guess it shouldn't be allowed to generate much itself. (Rocket Science equivalent to 'lighting one's own farts')
Accused? Surely you mean guilty? Or, have we gone to far already? OK, J'accuse RIAA of hacking into people's computers to check for downloads. Therefore, their ISP has to shut 'em down.
I can travel to any true EU country with just my photo driving licence. E.g., Finand <--> Germany, etc.
(Which is why John Major's "Britain in the heart of Europe" still grates in my throat. Chest cancer - we don't need it. Which is why I don't regard Britain as a 'true European country'. Anyone recognise this symbol ? € - familiar??).
erm, so why is the UK (AFAIK) the only cuntry europe-ish to still require a 'counterpart' for a driving licence? COUNTERPART???? WHF is that? Don't the plods know how to swipe the thing on their in-car readers, or is British technology so dumb that Gatso number-plate recognition - which earns far more - taken the money for relatively simple TETRA in-car systems?
Brown and his ilk will extend the pension age! FFS, I'd be working till I'm about 500 - Time to see man on Mars. Or, Gatso's obsolete. Yeah, I can dream.
(Apart from the fact I'm on the Jerry Roll, and wouldn't mind staying that way for the next 10 years until I retire...)
(Maybe, just maybe that's why cats have nine lives - they eat the buggers. Betcha the 'Merkin boffins didn't fuctor that into the tests..)
To the artists? To the lawyers? To the MAFIA?? (The latter would surely count as an anti-trust consortium/monopoly if the US gummint weren't in its pockets)
Just curious...
(Prohibition Icon, pse. Cup of tea would suffice...)
*Beautifully named above - kudos, "WonkoTheSane" - beats Recording Industry Ass. of America
<<I would have thought one solution would be enter phrases like "Driving Licence" in all languages into their system so it displayed a warning but that would need a bit of common sense.>>
Yep, but the "Driving Licence" woids are on the licence in the common Euro languages. See the examples above. Even the Polish one's got it in English, too. It's in Welsh (I think) and possibly in Gaelic - not one of my skills, I add.
Grief, even Irish Paddywagon drivers can't be that unobservant.
You'll be the one with the egg-whisk in the left hand, sink plunger in the right and loadsa Strepsil for that seriously sore throat to be EX-TER-MIN-ATED in the pocket?
(My Dalek will get it for me...I'm the one hiding behind the sofa)
..thanks to modern measuring devices being so accurate.
After all, the sky's big, and planes collide because, told to fly at (e.g.) 33000 feet, they do, with frightening accuracy. (DHL and Bashkirian Airlines over Germany)
I witnessed first-hand an incident. I was flying Finnair (SAS?) from Frankfurt to NY some years ago, sitting at a window. Most folks asleep, or watching the film. I looked out of the window, and saw a plane. Same height. <HolyGrail> Coming in our General Direction </HolyGrail> and straight at us.
Suddenly, vapour trail (guess it was the brakes slammed on) and it took a hard left. So close, I could see it was a Lufthansa, and just about made out the passengers in the window. I'd guess about 500 metres between us.
Point is, it was exactly at the same flight level.
Definitely an 'air-miss' but I never read about it later.
<<If you paid more than £7,777,777 for ITs Lead, you wuz robbed, Good and Proper ....... for that is the Going Rate, although that can Immediately Jump/Quantum Leap to £88,888,888>>
Wouldn't a Quantum Leap mean £7,777,777.01? Or less?
<<We’re sorry that the profile pictures you love, and we love too are gone.>>
We love too? Phorm, pay attention!
Good to see they took it on the chin and 'fessed up.
(Ovi is Finnish for door, as has been pointed out. But "Oven" is genetive/objective for door, so even more puns expected. Probably only in Finnish, tho').
<<..If a system comes equipped with a sound recording facility then it should be turned off or disabled in some other way.”>>
Would a shotgun do it? Or paint an Israeli flag on it, and let the 'boys with long beards' deal with it with a bit of chapatti flour (etc) in a rucksack....
Done that! Had an IBM 600E lappie with two ports, RH 7.3 (Still the best) . One connected to the office intranet, and the other supplying dhcp to the blade server I was testing.
This Cupid Stunt did wrong, and when I set it up I failed to tell dhcp to serve only eth1 (the blade)
Wondered why the disk was thrashing hopelessly while doing nothing....
Worse, I went for an 'extended lunch' (ok, I lived nearby, missus off that day and it turned into a "grub-screw" ;-) to see if it'd get stable, leaving the machine in a quite restricted room. Very few employees (10?) had access.
'course, it was giving IP addy's to anyone who rebooted their PC. In a complex of 1000+, that'll happen a lot. Esp. with Senior Execs arriving regularly to give presentations.
Returned about 2 hours later. Bollocking was too good for me. Other IT blokes thought "Good day for a hanging".
As I've left - unrelated reason - , I can tell you that this was c. 2004 @ Nokia, Tampere, Finland. Finns aren't noted for their emotions, but these blokes rewrote the rules!
In fact, I (under the pseudonym "Seymour Bybus") when at Nokia did a Southpark-style "Tom Cruise" and came out of the closet, and outed myself.
Such was the merriment that Bosco Kovak - head of HR at Nokia Siemens Networks- thanked me for the (amusing, I believe) e-mail for brightening a terrible day.
Real name: Andy Crofts - available for hire by the way. I'm the only "Crofts" in Finland. If you can't figure out how to contact me, I'm not available.
..that the Vietnamese bloke who owns my local pub had exceeded his usual obsessive secrecy mode.
(i.e., when accessing some pages on, for example the Telegraph.co.uk, I get "Page blocked by your System Administrator")
I was using Firefox, and switched to IE, and it worked. Like the poster above, I thought FF was borked. Took me awhile to realise the search engine on IE was Yahoo.
So I guess the poor sod at Google is about as bright as I am (Hint: think Toc H lamp. Google for it, if it'll let you.)
No time for more than a couple of quick G 'n' Ts during flight. Barely time for a 'coupling' for the 500-mile-high club.
Bright side? I'll be a spirit in the sky well before it gets off the ground. Guess I'll get a great view (unless it fires up from UK, in which case, the "wrong kind of clouds" will bugger it for me.)
@Sarah Beeh (one extra 'h' for the one I missed a few months ago)
Cats die from Aspirin.
Oddly, one of my wife's Friends and Other animals was Howard Walter Florey, the _true_ discoverer of penecillin. Forget Fleming. Opportunist.
Florey was a fascinating and extremely modest man, his beautiful Filippino's wife's name was (IIRC Mercy.) Lived near Oxford, where they invited my wife and myself for a wonderful dinner. Fantastic people to know. Sadly, both deceased.
He told me the story of penicillin, and I sat on the floor, rivetted. I was in the presence of a god. One evening I'll never forget.
He explained how he and his team tried to cure a policeman, but with so little penicillin in production, they worked day and night to extract what they could from the policeman's urine. Sadly, it was unsuccessful.
What I learned from Mr. Florey was that penicillin can be fatal to Guinea Pigs.
Google for his book "Rise up to life" if you want to know more. Make sure the hankies are near.
...of the tourists/terrrists (Dubya*3-speak, sorry) as to why they simply didn't goto e-bay and buy some of those smegging high-power green laser thingies, then blind the US tourists/terrists as they were attacking. Antipodeans reckon it's very effective against aircraft (so is the Hudson river, but that's another story.).
"It was a brave man who first ate an oyster" - J Swift
How the hell do we find out??
Take mushrooms, for example. Eat the wrong one, and croak. Unless you've being trying the different ones with your mates for a bet, how's anyone gonna find out???
I went with my girlfriends brother and his lady to a wood in Finland in Autumn last year, and we picked mushrooms. To me they looked similar, even from the same patch, but the aforementioned g/f told me - yep, this one's OK, but this one (almost similar) will put you in hospital.
Same with these blowjobs/fish/whatever.
How the hell can you tell which bit to remove, and which is safely edible without the 'angel of death' perched on your shoulder like a dead Norwegian Blue?
Happened to me, too...(BLoad- You've got an 'honorable')
..When I sold my first apartment 20-odd years ago, then the same evening I drove me + missus to Norfolk. Dropped into some despicable rat-infested village (Cambridge springs to mind) and withdrew a hundred sovs.
Bit miffed the ATM said I'd only got 190 or so left, but thinking salary hadn't got there yet, not worried. (ex)wife had a fit on the way there (it was a tight one) but after we'd wiped down, she looked at the ticket from ATM and explained it wasn't 190, but 19,000. Bejeezus!! Bank hadn't credited the new mortgage, but paid us instead. Now this was 22+ years ago, and I'd have done a runner if I'd been a bit shifty. Fuc*k me sideways, nowadays that'd just get a decent Doner. Or Boner.
Oh, and to Bload, I bought a frying pan last year that cost over €200. Bugger to lift, great to cook with and really does the missus' head in when she comes home lashed with a "friend".
If you search for "Joiku" and "Sami" (or Saami), you'll hear what it means. It's a Sami (OK, Lapland's closest if you google) 'folk' song.
It actually sounds like the noise you'd make if your toenails were being pulled out - slowly, one-by-one, whilst the rest of you is being roasted on a sauna set to 100 degrees C.
Marketing at it's best, huh? Sami friend of mine sings it. But she does it best face-down in a pool of vomit. Hers. Now, that's Unlimited Mobile.
Here in Finland - More European than "the heart of Europe - puke"
We can do this. Possible for years.
If you take holiday, and fall sick in^H^H during it, as long as you've a doctors note (or a valid AA card - we're not talking 'bout a motoring org. here...;-) you can extend the holiday by at least some of the days you were sick.
It's here (http://www.kela.fi/in/internet/english.nsf) somewhere, but I can't be arsed to wade through so many documents. Those who like to play with plastic dolls, and have time on their hands (not talking about a watch, 'natch) might have a 'flick-through'. (Sorry Lester, couldn't resist).
So, as John Major famously hoped that Britain would be the "Heart of Europe", then rejected most Euro stuff, I'm fuc*king glad Europe had a tremendously successful bypass operation.
Hard (snick) to tell, but as Moderatrix wants to be anonymous, I'd think that was her on the bed.
Waiting for a bit 'o' Doggie-style. Doggie seems "up for it", and if not, he's got Prince Harry to administer a nasty smack with his rod/stick/whatever
(Blast these low-definition eeepc 701 screens. Really get your imagination going)
Correction - when later viewed on a decent quality Amstrad VGA monitor, I realise I was mistaken by the doggie's rear offside leg. Maybe not, after all, quite so "up for it".
<<Wake up you lot, you're congratulating a grown man for playing with plastic fucking dolls>>
Well, couple of the dolls were fuc*king. And made of plasic, so ner-ner-ne-ner-ner.
And if I was Lester, I'd be pissed off someone called me "grown up". Sheesh, Chris, get a life! Thar's fun out there when you don't take things *too* seriously. Bloody UNIX admins.
Personally I can't wait for to see what BOFH comes up with on, ahem, 'the-day-after-Thursday' (Blasted Moderatrix, I had to use all my intelligence to get that past her. I'm not even merkan!)
..that Microsoft stated under oath that deleting the IE browser (after installing another, e.g., Netscape) caused the OS to cease to function? I thought that was the real beef. I'm sure I _could_ delete Firefox, Konqueror, et al from Ubuntu without a functional death, but Christ-in-shitty-nappies, why would I? Just add whatever you want.
Average numpty would be seriously nadgered with wget, ftp, etc...Plus, without a browser, they'd have no fuc*king idea where to write to for free install Opera disks...
This doesn't make sense at all. Daft judgement, IMO.
Where a 'Merkan has been shipped to Blighty for trial? I can't. Surely, with 300 million folks out there, and our "Special Relationship" (Damn - another keyboard gone to the Coffee Fairy) it must've happened. Anyone? No? Odd that.
'Course, with the merkans pathetic security, can't someone hack into the Homeland Security system (from a public wifi network, natch) and stick him on the "No-Fly" list.
Register
2252 posts • joined Wednesday 14th November 2007 11:03 GMT
Page:
Re. Ho Hum
<<I like the idea - Andus' whining about his lack of benefits indicates poor planning on his part. If he'd waited to be fired, he would have received beneifts. On the other hand, if you happen to be able to find another employer easily, the golden parachute makes for a nice fat bonus>>.
Not really whining, the benefits came at the end of the "parachute" time. It was my gamble, didn't work out. Bugger Hall jobs around - NSN, now Nokia and other redundancies pretty much flooded the telecom. market. Native Finns always win against foreigners. My bad, I guess. Not enough understanding of Finnish social security system.
Still, cleared my loans, now sitting in a pub...Can't be all bad!
Happened to me...
...in 2007.
Payoff is based on length of service. I'd done 10 years in Finland, they added 4 years to that. 14 months pay.
€60,000 sounded great (better than hanging around like a dead corpse for the statutary 4 months).
Downsides:
1) Yep, the writer is correct - you don't get (earnings-related*, if youre in an unemployment fund) unemloyment benefit for the 14 months calculated, i.e. the time the "Golden Parachute" would be income
2) Taxman thinks he's died and gone to heaven! Because it's paid as a lump sum, I got 52% shaved straight off the top, instead of the 30% I was paying.
3) You can't get that much help from employment office, because you've 'voluntarily resigned'. In fact, they 'stop' the benefits for 90 days, but that's swallowed up by the above golden parachute time.
Fuck*ing laugh, when I got my "under threat of redundancy" interview/letter, it said precisely that - under threat. However, my manager at the time said in an e-mail "you WILL be made redundant" (her capital letters) so it was a rock and a hard place scenario. I still have that e-mail, might come in useful one day...I believe that was an illegal statement from an Officer of the company.
IMHO - stick with the 'standard' legal** redundancy, don't take the poisoned chalice. You get more gummint help.
*earnings-related. Gives me about €1500/month. For almost 2 years. Better than the UK, God What?
** IIRC, standard, in my case, 4 years service equates to 2 months, 8 years 4, and 12 years 6
From Nasa's website
"Five things about the Orbiting Carbon Observatory"
UPDATE "Er, make that six..."
http://oco.jpl.nasa.gov/news/
Is it my imagination...
Or does that thing look more like something you'd light the blue touchpaper on November 5th? I could buy something more impressive from Tesco.
Doesn't look like a *real* rocket to me. But, I s'pose if it's looking for CO2, I guess it shouldn't be allowed to generate much itself. (Rocket Science equivalent to 'lighting one's own farts')
Reality check
<<...disconnect customers repeatedly accused...>>
Accused? Surely you mean guilty? Or, have we gone to far already? OK, J'accuse RIAA of hacking into people's computers to check for downloads. Therefore, their ISP has to shut 'em down.
No sweat??
Party Political Broadcast?
Yup, Brown or one of his cronies come on, and I reply with the apropriate hand-gestures "waar-a-load-a-wan...." - oh, shit, now I've got Sky...
Driving Licence??
I can travel to any true EU country with just my photo driving licence. E.g., Finand <--> Germany, etc.
(Which is why John Major's "Britain in the heart of Europe" still grates in my throat. Chest cancer - we don't need it. Which is why I don't regard Britain as a 'true European country'. Anyone recognise this symbol ? € - familiar??).
erm, so why is the UK (AFAIK) the only cuntry europe-ish to still require a 'counterpart' for a driving licence? COUNTERPART???? WHF is that? Don't the plods know how to swipe the thing on their in-car readers, or is British technology so dumb that Gatso number-plate recognition - which earns far more - taken the money for relatively simple TETRA in-car systems?
Why isn't this sufficient?
Cunch of Bunts.
@Bill Bennet
And one of my previous bosses was named "Gordon Benett"
Your point, sir?
Sod that!!
Brown and his ilk will extend the pension age! FFS, I'd be working till I'm about 500 - Time to see man on Mars. Or, Gatso's obsolete. Yeah, I can dream.
(Apart from the fact I'm on the Jerry Roll, and wouldn't mind staying that way for the next 10 years until I retire...)
(Maybe, just maybe that's why cats have nine lives - they eat the buggers. Betcha the 'Merkin boffins didn't fuctor that into the tests..)
What happens to the money?
What happens to the money the MAFIA* collect?
To the artists? To the lawyers? To the MAFIA?? (The latter would surely count as an anti-trust consortium/monopoly if the US gummint weren't in its pockets)
Just curious...
(Prohibition Icon, pse. Cup of tea would suffice...)
*Beautifully named above - kudos, "WonkoTheSane" - beats Recording Industry Ass. of America
@JMB
<<I would have thought one solution would be enter phrases like "Driving Licence" in all languages into their system so it displayed a warning but that would need a bit of common sense.>>
Yep, but the "Driving Licence" woids are on the licence in the common Euro languages. See the examples above. Even the Polish one's got it in English, too. It's in Welsh (I think) and possibly in Gaelic - not one of my skills, I add.
Grief, even Irish Paddywagon drivers can't be that unobservant.
Can they?
HO, effing HO!
Now I've a way to get around Jaqui's system.
My name henceforth is "Ajokortti Körkort". Bet the razzers don't have 'Ö' on their machines. That'll fuc*k 'em.
See http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/1/1b/Finnish_driver%27s_license.jpg - first word Finnish, second Swedish meaning the same.
(Having said that, the letter 'Ö' does look a bit like me, after Friday lunch....)
Miste-all-chucking-Frighty!
This is STILL happening?
Gordon Bennet, just cut Nigeria off the web. What do they need it for? Recipes on cooking Maize? How to start a war?? How to rite inglis gramar?
(Or could filter out emails sent with CAPITAL LETTERS)
Woman's a numpty. With 300K of (I guess) hubbie/inheritance money. She can't possibly have earned it on her own, being that fuc*king retarded...
Boo fuc*king hoo. total FAIL!!!
Hoover? Windows? etc..@They're too late
Yup. Now, forget netbooks. They aint books, and they don't necessarily access the web/net. S'pose the Nokia "fart-phones" are also 'netbooks' too?
What about (I actually love this) Laptots? Bit more descriptive, even if it does get you on the Kiddie-Fiddler radar for a bit.
Paris, 'cos I havent used her for awhile....
Hoover? Windows? etc..@They're too late
Yup. Now, forget netbooks. They aint books, and they don't necessarily access the web/net. S'pose the Nokia "fart-phones" are also 'netbooks' too?
What about (I actually love this) Laptots? Bit more descriptive, even if it does get you on the Kiddie-Fiddler radar for a bit.
Paris, 'cos I havent used her for awhile....
@kevin biswas
You'll be the one with the egg-whisk in the left hand, sink plunger in the right and loadsa Strepsil for that seriously sore throat to be EX-TER-MIN-ATED in the pocket?
(My Dalek will get it for me...I'm the one hiding behind the sofa)
TAXI!! Oops, I mean TARDIS!!!
Not so unlikely...
..thanks to modern measuring devices being so accurate.
After all, the sky's big, and planes collide because, told to fly at (e.g.) 33000 feet, they do, with frightening accuracy. (DHL and Bashkirian Airlines over Germany)
I witnessed first-hand an incident. I was flying Finnair (SAS?) from Frankfurt to NY some years ago, sitting at a window. Most folks asleep, or watching the film. I looked out of the window, and saw a plane. Same height. <HolyGrail> Coming in our General Direction </HolyGrail> and straight at us.
Suddenly, vapour trail (guess it was the brakes slammed on) and it took a hard left. So close, I could see it was a Lufthansa, and just about made out the passengers in the window. I'd guess about 500 metres between us.
Point is, it was exactly at the same flight level.
Definitely an 'air-miss' but I never read about it later.
Tombstone, 'natch.
@amanfrommars
<<If you paid more than £7,777,777 for ITs Lead, you wuz robbed, Good and Proper ....... for that is the Going Rate, although that can Immediately Jump/Quantum Leap to £88,888,888>>
Wouldn't a Quantum Leap mean £7,777,777.01? Or less?
To *really* reverse it..
Consider for a moment.
Assume I'm a Jew, demonstrating peacefully in London. Extreme muslims don't get on with Jews well.
Copper snaps me.
Loses camera/USB/SD card. Or, gets left on a train. Mate of Ob^Hsama bin Liner finds it.
Now, I'm a possible target.
Useful terrist* information?
So, nick the police phtographer. Easy
* Sorry - forgot Dubya's gone.
@Magani
<"...and a defence that the person had a "reasonable excuse for their action" is only allowed after the offence has been charged.">
Spot on. Of course, by this time you're on the DNA register, for fuc*ks sake!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cunning Plan, what??? B'stards!
@What's Finnish for fail
epäonnistua
Well, you asked...(Thanks, translate.google.com...)
Typical Finnish - why use a sentence when a paragraph will do?
@Nokia
<<We’re sorry that the profile pictures you love, and we love too are gone.>>
We love too? Phorm, pay attention!
Good to see they took it on the chin and 'fessed up.
(Ovi is Finnish for door, as has been pointed out. But "Oven" is genetive/objective for door, so even more puns expected. Probably only in Finnish, tho').
Sound disabled in some other way???
<<..If a system comes equipped with a sound recording facility then it should be turned off or disabled in some other way.”>>
Would a shotgun do it? Or paint an Israeli flag on it, and let the 'boys with long beards' deal with it with a bit of chapatti flour (etc) in a rucksack....
@My faux pas...
Done that! Had an IBM 600E lappie with two ports, RH 7.3 (Still the best) . One connected to the office intranet, and the other supplying dhcp to the blade server I was testing.
This Cupid Stunt did wrong, and when I set it up I failed to tell dhcp to serve only eth1 (the blade)
Wondered why the disk was thrashing hopelessly while doing nothing....
Worse, I went for an 'extended lunch' (ok, I lived nearby, missus off that day and it turned into a "grub-screw" ;-) to see if it'd get stable, leaving the machine in a quite restricted room. Very few employees (10?) had access.
'course, it was giving IP addy's to anyone who rebooted their PC. In a complex of 1000+, that'll happen a lot. Esp. with Senior Execs arriving regularly to give presentations.
Returned about 2 hours later. Bollocking was too good for me. Other IT blokes thought "Good day for a hanging".
As I've left - unrelated reason - , I can tell you that this was c. 2004 @ Nokia, Tampere, Finland. Finns aren't noted for their emotions, but these blokes rewrote the rules!
embarasmentembarrassment@ William Keaton
<<There is no "G" in WHINE!!!!!>>
Yeah, and there's no "F" in "SUN" at the moment...
Re: Stand up and bee counted
Totally agree.
In fact, I (under the pseudonym "Seymour Bybus") when at Nokia did a Southpark-style "Tom Cruise" and came out of the closet, and outed myself.
Such was the merriment that Bosco Kovak - head of HR at Nokia Siemens Networks- thanked me for the (amusing, I believe) e-mail for brightening a terrible day.
Real name: Andy Crofts - available for hire by the way. I'm the only "Crofts" in Finland. If you can't figure out how to contact me, I'm not available.
Buggers can't be choosers.
2 x 4?
If it was made in Israel, they'd surely call it a "four-by-two" (Cockney for Jew)
@By Mad as a Bat
Nope. Not Tony Blackburn.
He's visible here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tony_Blackburn
That bloke on the right is obviously sporting a Syrup.
('Merkans - see http://www.businessballs.com/cockney.htm if you don't know what "syrup" means.) We Colonial folks know it. Sadly...
RE:Worked ion IIE but not Firefox? Shurely shome mishtake?
Er, if that was aimed at me, pse re-read comment.
(Sheesh, Flies-on-my-Sacred-Cow!)
Thank You very many. Kiitoksia paljon.
At first I thought...
..that the Vietnamese bloke who owns my local pub had exceeded his usual obsessive secrecy mode.
(i.e., when accessing some pages on, for example the Telegraph.co.uk, I get "Page blocked by your System Administrator")
I was using Firefox, and switched to IE, and it worked. Like the poster above, I thought FF was borked. Took me awhile to realise the search engine on IE was Yahoo.
So I guess the poor sod at Google is about as bright as I am (Hint: think Toc H lamp. Google for it, if it'll let you.)
Fuc*k that!
No time for more than a couple of quick G 'n' Ts during flight. Barely time for a 'coupling' for the 500-mile-high club.
Bright side? I'll be a spirit in the sky well before it gets off the ground. Guess I'll get a great view (unless it fires up from UK, in which case, the "wrong kind of clouds" will bugger it for me.)
@Sarah Beeh (one extra 'h' for the one I missed a few months ago)
Cats die from Aspirin.
Oddly, one of my wife's Friends and Other animals was Howard Walter Florey, the _true_ discoverer of penecillin. Forget Fleming. Opportunist.
Florey was a fascinating and extremely modest man, his beautiful Filippino's wife's name was (IIRC Mercy.) Lived near Oxford, where they invited my wife and myself for a wonderful dinner. Fantastic people to know. Sadly, both deceased.
He told me the story of penicillin, and I sat on the floor, rivetted. I was in the presence of a god. One evening I'll never forget.
He explained how he and his team tried to cure a policeman, but with so little penicillin in production, they worked day and night to extract what they could from the policeman's urine. Sadly, it was unsuccessful.
What I learned from Mr. Florey was that penicillin can be fatal to Guinea Pigs.
Google for his book "Rise up to life" if you want to know more. Make sure the hankies are near.
I have never understood the stupidity...
...of the tourists/terrrists (Dubya*3-speak, sorry) as to why they simply didn't goto e-bay and buy some of those smegging high-power green laser thingies, then blind the US tourists/terrists as they were attacking. Antipodeans reckon it's very effective against aircraft (so is the Hudson river, but that's another story.).
My hat's off to them!
-Tinfoil hat, that is. Then I'll paste it on the missile. Polish it. Make it nice 'n' shiny. Reflective, like.
-That'll fuc*k 'em. Cunch o' Bunts.
"It was a brave man who first ate an oyster" - J Swift
How the hell do we find out??
Take mushrooms, for example. Eat the wrong one, and croak. Unless you've being trying the different ones with your mates for a bet, how's anyone gonna find out???
I went with my girlfriends brother and his lady to a wood in Finland in Autumn last year, and we picked mushrooms. To me they looked similar, even from the same patch, but the aforementioned g/f told me - yep, this one's OK, but this one (almost similar) will put you in hospital.
Same with these blowjobs/fish/whatever.
How the hell can you tell which bit to remove, and which is safely edible without the 'angel of death' perched on your shoulder like a dead Norwegian Blue?
Evolution? Creation? Some other force?
Tombstone, natch.
@Peyton
<<Letting people get completely cutoff from TV... would it inspire a golden age, or incite a riot? (My money is on the latter...)>>
More likely outcomes - Merkans will get thinner, and there'll be a baby boom. Saves money on healthcare, and fixes the pension deficit. Later.
Cunning plan, what?
Extradition?
So, we can soon expect the airmen in the (A-10 "Friendly" fire) incident to be extradited?
Don't hold your breath. They weren't.
Happened to me, too...(BLoad- You've got an 'honorable')
..When I sold my first apartment 20-odd years ago, then the same evening I drove me + missus to Norfolk. Dropped into some despicable rat-infested village (Cambridge springs to mind) and withdrew a hundred sovs.
Bit miffed the ATM said I'd only got 190 or so left, but thinking salary hadn't got there yet, not worried. (ex)wife had a fit on the way there (it was a tight one) but after we'd wiped down, she looked at the ticket from ATM and explained it wasn't 190, but 19,000. Bejeezus!! Bank hadn't credited the new mortgage, but paid us instead. Now this was 22+ years ago, and I'd have done a runner if I'd been a bit shifty. Fuc*k me sideways, nowadays that'd just get a decent Doner. Or Boner.
Oh, and to Bload, I bought a frying pan last year that cost over €200. Bugger to lift, great to cook with and really does the missus' head in when she comes home lashed with a "friend".
This idea...
...will probably be flushed down the bath plughole.
Joiku??? WTF???
Not sure about that name.
If you search for "Joiku" and "Sami" (or Saami), you'll hear what it means. It's a Sami (OK, Lapland's closest if you google) 'folk' song.
It actually sounds like the noise you'd make if your toenails were being pulled out - slowly, one-by-one, whilst the rest of you is being roasted on a sauna set to 100 degrees C.
Marketing at it's best, huh? Sami friend of mine sings it. But she does it best face-down in a pool of vomit. Hers. Now, that's Unlimited Mobile.
Here in Finland - More European than "the heart of Europe - puke"
We can do this. Possible for years.
If you take holiday, and fall sick in^H^H during it, as long as you've a doctors note (or a valid AA card - we're not talking 'bout a motoring org. here...;-) you can extend the holiday by at least some of the days you were sick.
It's here (http://www.kela.fi/in/internet/english.nsf) somewhere, but I can't be arsed to wade through so many documents. Those who like to play with plastic dolls, and have time on their hands (not talking about a watch, 'natch) might have a 'flick-through'. (Sorry Lester, couldn't resist).
So, as John Major famously hoped that Britain would be the "Heart of Europe", then rejected most Euro stuff, I'm fuc*king glad Europe had a tremendously successful bypass operation.
@ W. Wrong way round?
(http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/05/16/moderatrix_boudoir/)
Hard (snick) to tell, but as Moderatrix wants to be anonymous, I'd think that was her on the bed.
Waiting for a bit 'o' Doggie-style. Doggie seems "up for it", and if not, he's got Prince Harry to administer a nasty smack with his rod/stick/whatever
(Blast these low-definition eeepc 701 screens. Really get your imagination going)
Correction - when later viewed on a decent quality Amstrad VGA monitor, I realise I was mistaken by the doggie's rear offside leg. Maybe not, after all, quite so "up for it".
@Chris W.
<<Wake up you lot, you're congratulating a grown man for playing with plastic fucking dolls>>
Well, couple of the dolls were fuc*king. And made of plasic, so ner-ner-ne-ner-ner.
And if I was Lester, I'd be pissed off someone called me "grown up". Sheesh, Chris, get a life! Thar's fun out there when you don't take things *too* seriously. Bloody UNIX admins.
Personally I can't wait for to see what BOFH comes up with on, ahem, 'the-day-after-Thursday' (Blasted Moderatrix, I had to use all my intelligence to get that past her. I'm not even merkan!)
I'm unemployed, FFS!!!
I can't afford to give any more keyboards to the Coffee Fairy!
Stoppit, already! (Christ, and to think it's only Monday...What are you buggers gonna hit me with on Friday???)
...and stick him on the "No-Fly" list
Sorry, should've been the "No Fry list" - from his lawyer:
<< The threats from US authorities also included one from New Jersey prosecutors that Mr McKinnon "would fry", said Mr Pannick.>>
(Nice name for a lawyer, though...bit like the outfit in Leamington Spa called "Wright Hassall".
Comfy. )
Wasn't the *real* issue..
..that Microsoft stated under oath that deleting the IE browser (after installing another, e.g., Netscape) caused the OS to cease to function? I thought that was the real beef. I'm sure I _could_ delete Firefox, Konqueror, et al from Ubuntu without a functional death, but Christ-in-shitty-nappies, why would I? Just add whatever you want.
Average numpty would be seriously nadgered with wget, ftp, etc...Plus, without a browser, they'd have no fuc*king idea where to write to for free install Opera disks...
This doesn't make sense at all. Daft judgement, IMO.
Or, did I miss something? (Probbly - like an 'a')
Can anyone think of a case the other way?
Where a 'Merkan has been shipped to Blighty for trial? I can't. Surely, with 300 million folks out there, and our "Special Relationship" (Damn - another keyboard gone to the Coffee Fairy) it must've happened. Anyone? No? Odd that.
'Course, with the merkans pathetic security, can't someone hack into the Homeland Security system (from a public wifi network, natch) and stick him on the "No-Fly" list.
That'll fuc*k 'em.
Apparently Cpt. Sully's first reaction was..
""His instinct was to duck," said NTSB board member Kitty Higgins, recounting their interview. "
To which the co-pilot said "no, Grouse"
Gorrit.
Erm..Cleggy, and others...
<Sorry, you're at collage. DO YOU WANT TO LEARN OR NOT?>
What do you want to learn "collage" for? You like cutting up newspapers?
Maybe you should go back to skule.
fat dollara few quidErnie Ball, anyone?
'Nuff said. Google, unless you don't already know the story.
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