Just an ex-GSM engineer, who kept being told when 2G would be 'turned off'. In 2004, it was 2008, then a bit more life...2011 was the last date I heard. Try to turn off 2G on your phone, you can still call..Possibly...
Of course, NMT450 got a boost when Nokia brought out it's "Ringo" phones, but the boost was only a couple of years or so. Pissed off a lot of users here in Nordic-land. Pity anyone who bought a 2G-only iPhone.
Gaming consoles? Just sounded - well, a bit 'Ginger', as Jeremy Clarkson once said.
Didn't one of our Major grey politicians declare that as a hope, once?
So, how the hell can I travel anywhere else in Europe with just my Finnish Driving Licence (which doubles as an ID card that I'm happy to have*) but not back to my native Blighty?
No, I don't need a 'counterpart' for my European D/L. The police, if I'm stopped will simply scan the barcode into one of those new-fangled things called a 'Babbage Difference Engine' - aka 'Computer', and with a bit of Marconi's Magic Wire-free Invention, determine all, and I mean all about me. Like how much I earn so said magic machine can calculate the day-fine depending on my speeding , number of dependants and earnings. Ticket printed without the use of punched cards in a matter of seconds. Wondrous!
(Oh, just for light relief - I received a cheque from the taxman a week ago. For about €30. As Finns haven't really used cheques for more than a quarter of a century, and HMRC cheques are classed as a 'private cheque', Nordea Bank told me it'd cost around €100 to cash it...)
Primitive Britain? You bet. Do you folks still take a bath every Friday, whether you need it or not?
*Happy to have, 'cos if I make a large-ish purchase in a shop (say, over €50) they'll need to see it to verify the Social Secrity number. I'm comfy with that.
Did no-one tell you that GSM (2G) is dead in about a year or so and the 3G standard is much, much more secure? That might be why the military uses spread-spectrum. (Google for Hedey Lamarr for the 'prior art' bit*. You'll be surprised. I was.)
Oh, and China has the A5/0 algorithm, which is open (i.e., unencrypted so the chinese can spy on anyone, as usual). So?
"...was developed by volunteers around the globe using giant clusters of computers and gaming consoles.." made me snort on the pub keyboard again. Gaming consoles, FFS???
Icon, 'cos I'm in the lounge. Of the pub, natch.
*OK, as El Reg readers are in "Couch Potato" mode after the hols, I've done it for you. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hedy_Lamarr
Yet, I can travel from my adopted residence of Finland to any other European country (except UK, 'cos I might be a terrist, or a Brazilian electrician, or a bit overly sun-tanned, or DWI*) with just a bloody photo driving licence.
Fuc*king jobsworth muppets. Can't really blame Gordon Brown for this fuc*k-up, which is a pity.
*DWI. Driving Whilst Islamic.
(We need a Gordon Brown icon. I'd suggest a glass eye, but Moderatrix would poke that one out of Kilt-er)
You mean bumblebee, rather than honey bee. Former nests underground, latter in man-made, expensive homes, which would rival an MP's duckhouse for comfort. See http://www.britishbee.org.uk/
Using Bee's rather than Bees suggests you're referring to either the extinct Norweigian airline, Busy Bee, or the Italian Air Bee. Yep, in which case, I agree. They both went unexplained. Or, took flight. If possible for a (bumble)bee.
I preferred Buzz, till Ryanair took it. Then, I didn't. Natch.
Honest! He didn't even have wings. Or, does that mean I used my childhood pocket money on DC Comics (which my teacher used to confiscate as "American Trash") was wasted? Suppose the Prof's gonna say next that Santa can't possibly fly in a reindeer-pulled sledge, and wreck the kids' Christmas.
One thing, Prof. It was said by Lord Kelvin, President of the Royal Society, London, no less - to which my daughter at 6 weeks old was the youngest visitor (Sir Patrick Moore adored her) - that "Heavier than air flying machines are impossible*"
You don't need wings to be an angel. Personally, I think it's a part-time job, you don't even know you've got. Right place, right time. Pity the pay's crap - can't even bonk a Virgin as a perk nowadays, since the're an endangered species.
* Eight years later, the Wright brothers disproved this Wise Learned Gentleman.
A couple of months back, I thought they'd shot themselves seriously in the foot with an out-of-the-hat price of £500.
£650, minus half a loaf of bread? This buggers it. Pity. Looked really good.
What the hell is happening? Is someone trying to sabotage the company?
If they sell more than a couple of thousand, I'll be staggered. Even worse will be their after-sales costs, because the prats who buy this won't know how to use it and will be 'phoning the helpline every 5 minutes.
Unless that's the business model, and they stick the helpline on a premium rate, Ryanair-style. Ahhh, it's starting to get clearer...
But by the time of writing this, EL Reg couldn't be arsed to write anything about it.
Seems Danes are a bit slower than the Finns, who, in my experience, are about the slowest folks on the planet. Hare --> Tortoise --> Finn (Mika Häkkinen excepted, natch - but even so, he was only a Sunday driver. That's when the race is held, ain't it?) But, they always seem to get it done first time, on schedule, and right.
If you watch it a few times, see the small landing platform they have, no net behind in case one of the flyers misses the target, no padding on the cranes holding the 'bells', the unnatural flailing arm movements - mannequins, maybe? -, with no protection in front should a cannon miss the targets or malfunction, and the unnatural - theatrical - Finnglish accent of the presenter (No educated Finn talks like that. I know, I live there. Even the local drunks can pronounce better.
He sounds like he's doing a parody of the 'Swedish Chef' from the muppets. Brilliant).
Intel, Finland allowing the shooting of experienced and valued engineers from cannons? Gi's a break! We DO have Elf and Safety here too.
Voice calls will still get through, having far, far less throughput. They'll use the 2G network as a fallback, anyway. No need to worry about 'pregnant mothers' or emergency calls.
Actually, the last is something I almost bought in my supermarket at $10 today. Problem is, it smells like a cadaver, and the natural human reaction on smelling a cadaver is an intense fear-and-flight reflex. But for $10....cheaper terror than a roller-coaster...
First, I think you need a Japanese bloke to make it. The're good at folding paper.
Second, if you look at Butan's design for 'spaceship 1', they drop it vertically out of a practically airfree atmosphere with the tail fins at 90 degrees, until air resistance is met.
Seems to be the braking you folks are looking at.
So, some sort of simple-ish air-pressure pipe, pistons pushing the tail to 'normal flight' angle...
IANAAE*, natch
Just a thought. I look forward to living long enough to see its flight! Go, folks, GO!!!!
"They breached the security of the database without authorization"
What bloody security?
As to the CEO's statement "..website was recently audited for security by penetration testers from SecurityMetrics and Adhost", firstly, is Adhost a security expert company? (dunno about the other), but then she fails to give the results of the audits. Might have been damning. McKinnon would've been a better choice of 'penetration tester'.
IANAL, natch, but they haven't got a leg to stand on, as far as I can see. As far as PR goes, a lawsuit would be a disaster for SecurityMetrics and Adhost. Maybe they'll counter-sue.
'Course, she could be reading EL Reg's advice about not giving her man pig flue (chuckle), and gone for the Reverse Cow 'girl' position. Then unless there's a mirror in the bedroom, he could just imagine he was in Paris...
Grief, her hubby needs a medal. I bloody couldn't, with any amount of beer goggles.
I was, as a Nokia employee and a member of the team building Sweden's "3G" network, working on the Network Management System in Nokia's "NOC" - Network Operations Centre. OK, not Telia, but it'll surely follow. Unless things have changed since 2003(2002?). Kinda lost touch since I left NSN a couple of years ago.
As an aside, the building was located on the (converted) top floor of a multi-storey car park in Stockholm. The car fumes from downstairs made your eyes water sometimes.
I prefer to read comments from people who can spell. Like "aleged". Try "alleged". Try drugs. Try trainspotting. Try a spellchecker, if you're illiterate. Try the "preview" button, and read first. Try not being a fuc*king moron.
He's been using it constantly - always on the phone. I get a couple of calls per day, he seems to get 10 per hour! Amazing.
Problem is, he's totally deaf and dumb, just makes strange unintelligible grunting sounds instead of speech, and he's as mad as a hatter. Only way he can order a beer is to point. Laser pen, natch. Early adopter, obviously.
Would've been even better if said nutter had a SIM card for it, but....keeps him happy.
But, I had a look, and it's quite neat. Physically. Without the SIM, it didn't do much, however.
* Abdullah == http://www.mosqueclock.com/ (go on, click the 'fun' bit.)
It'll wake the dead. And my girl. As I set the normal alarms for 10 minutes before Abdullah calls for prayer, and she hates it, she's up and turning it off before Abdullah gets me nutting the concrete at morning prayer.
Before I remember I'm not a Muslim.
Perkele!!
We're forecast clear skies (and -20 degrees centigrade - should be a "Grand night out, Grommit - don't forget the crackers"). Abdullah will get me outabed for this. But, you folks have rarely seen the Northern lights* which makes a meteor shower look as spectacular as taking a leak in the general vicinity of that ISS piss-filter up there.
Y'know, I'm trying for a job at the moment. Get the usual cretinous question:
"Where do you want to be in 5 years' time"
My answer nowadays is:
"Where will YOU be in 5 years? Still in this industry, or, as most of us expect to be, shovelling shit for your daily bread? Which street do you prefer? "
"Since opening the stores in NY and Chicago (2006), consumer awareness in the US has grown substantially. Weighing those dynamics with Nokia's clear strategy in North America, and our well-established retail channel with third parties, we will close these two stores (New York and Chicago) in early 2010"
So, if the BS above is correct, and everyone's heard of Apple, and it's well-established, when does Apple close it's flagship stores?
Oh, nice. Do well, work hard, promote the brand so well that you put yourself out of work. Don'cha just luuuve those much-spouted "Nokia Values"?
As the first poster noted, it's a dead company. Partially shafted by that incredibly stupid decision by that prat Simon Beresford-Wylie to nip into bed with a tainted German strumpet, and share some siemen.
Customer Awareness? More like "Customer Bewareness".
Yep. Dead as a nail on the lamp-room floor. We won't miss them. Not even in Finland, as the company base is practically Indo/Chinese nowadays.
...in a Black Hole, no-one knows. Would we? How would it appear to us mere mortals? Dimensions would look precisely the same, surely.
However, I know what a Brown Hole looks like, having partaken of the splendid advice of El Reg and the 'Reverse Cowgirl' technique, but that's another story...
"Paul and Ewan at least deserve some kudos for getting this far."
Bit like saying a little old lady with her Zimmer frame, shuffling painfully and pitifully up the wrong road to her house deserves some Kudos for getting so far.
Close, but absolutely NO cigar.
We're British, and therefore support the underdog. Up to a point.
(Should've got Alan Sugar on board. He'd have got it right. Credit to the bloke, you might dislike him and his arrogant attitude , but when you can pull a few hundred quid out of your pocket, then you can argue the point.)
Gut feeling that price will kill this before it's soiled it's first nappy. That, for this kinda machine is regrettable.
Oh, and WindowsXP? Daft. Like putting a V6 engine in a Fiat 500. Plus 800x480 resolution - fair enuf, but 32Mb display memory...WTF???? Must be a typo. if not, bye bye battery life.
I'd snap one up at €200, with Linux. Bought my missus' Asus 701 - still going strong - at €150, albeit with a €10/month, all-you-can-eat 3G modem. (2 year contract, but - so what? I use it when I travel, and with port-forwarding to the wireless modem, it's good enough at home)
I look forward to an El Reg test, when this machine actually ships.
As to the 'badge-engineered' comment above - obvious - why else would it come with TD-SCDMA (Chinese-only standard IIRC), but 3G is noted as an option? Finnish keyboard? Chinese? Nah. Yank only, it seems.
In short, this machine doesn't make sense to me. Sorry, guys.
My missus - due to her being a healthcare worker was innoculated in the first batch to Finland. After all, she cycles around the city, making sure her customers (at home we affectionately refer to them as the 'Grand Old Ladies/Gentlemen) have taken their pills/food, and are washed, shaved and - OK - alive. Guess the idea of giving them a dose of swine 'flu wouldn't go down well.
Actually, with the health budget mentality - if enough get it and croak, it'd save a packe...Nah, Andus, you're thinking too much ZaNuLabour.
But as she's been innoculated against H1N1, and as we're 'exchanging bodily fluids' on birthdays and public holidays then I may also be immune now. Kinda 'reverse innoculation', if you get my drift. Lester's already done a Playmobil of this, something about man-juice and alien overlords - no need to reiterate. Although the 'recommended' reverse cow-girl method quoted in the article would make me an 'underlord'. At a guess.
The statistical bit - if, say 70% of Finland's population get vaccinated, then I'm far less likely to be exposed. Added to the fact I keep my bloodstream at a totally unhealthy (to bugs) level of alcohol, I'm probably the least likely in Finland to get it.
I, for one welcome our new reverse cow-girl over.., er, thingies.
"Yesterday, I came to work to see a handwashing station IN THE GODDAMNED ELEVATOR"
Not so odd. Think it through.
I was in China at the middle of the SARS epidemic. (I was one of the few Nokia folks from Europe to agree to go).
It immediately dawned on me to use matchsticks to press the buttons in the hotel's elevator, as that's something everyone in the hotel touched.
Never got SARS, but because I happened to sneeze - once - on my first day back, due to travelling in cattle-class and breathing relatively dry air for 14 hours, I got a weeks' free sick leave. I was absolutely fine. (Last paragraph simplified, but you get the drift).
Oh, and Missinary Position's good for us. Easier for us to hold the brown paper bags over our heads without tearing them, natch. We're both 'fugly uckers'.
"Third, somewhat sadly, when you boil it down, it's always about the money ... live, learn, adapt, grow within your field. It's the only way to get on in life."
Yep, been there, done that.
I was General Manager of a UK software company for a couple of years, until we finally realised DEC had stopped making the VAX.
Probably got the T-shirt somewhere.
But as I'm now unemployed, I'm loving it!
As someone once said, "If you win the rat-race, you're still a rat".
Nothing personal by this, or indeed the last post, but I disagree it's only about money. If I could find a way to build toilets for villagers in third-world states (not talking London Docklands ;-), I'd do it. In fact, I was chairman for "Poor Shepherds Orphanage" in Kenya for awhile, until my mind decided to take an unscheduled excursion.
Starfish. I'd love to have that on my CV (http://www.starfishdifference.com/)
"Handset volumes, across the industry, will apparently rise by about ten percent over the next twelve months."
Bugger. Won't be able to fit my nice Nokia folding phone into my jeans little tiny pocket anymore. 10% volume increase? Not a chance. At the moment, it's as snug as a bug in a rug. Fits perfectly.
I guess it (the pocket) will revert back to its obviously intended use of storing condoms. Sadly, the recipient of said new home hasn't increased by ten percent, no matter what spam I subscribe to.
I never can understand why barbecue fuel is made from almost-impossible-to-light material.
Why the fuc*k we don't just recycle old sofa's? I remember at school being told that "a house can be set on fire by a carelessly dropped cigarette on a sofa".
So, use sofa-stuff. For effective ignition, I guess the cigarette can't be strategically placed, but must be dropped carelessly, possibly lobbed over the shoulder, as you would do with spilt salt.
Actually, the more I read, the more I liked. With reservations.
It's your subsequent postings, rather than the article I had objections about, but I did like the shredding ransom-notes and coloured text a lot. Happened to me, too. As a recipient, I hasten to add.
Not exactly a 'fanboi', but there's sense in there. Someplace ;-).
However, arrogance doesn't suit. Keep it off _your_ C.V., please...Same with jake. Is it a requirement of a headhunter? It's a trait I'd rather not assimilate, no matter how much money it might make me. Screwing with other peoples lives isn't something I'd be proud of.
Changing peoples lives for the better, a big fat YES!!! Just wish I knew how to.....
Slightly more seriously, by girlfriends's sister (She has 6 siblings. No condoms in Finland 50 years ago "There's a war on, and put that red bedroom light out!") is a deacon in a Lutheran church. Paid job, amazingly - and declared in her job application she has a live-in lover, who's also a very pleasant - girl.
Got the job, of course.
Slightly less amusing is the writer's rather arrogant attitude.
The "I have control of your life" bits I find annoying. Sure, he could be good at his job, but - he must be a 'merkan to brag about it all the time. It detracts from the story. If, indeed, there is one any more.
(Did like the shredder bit, however. Damn good folder for his future articles. BOFH can assist, natch)
I didn't understand the first phrase - OK, I thought I did, but self-denial kicked in. Fortunately, Google fixed it for me.
REALLY? For a job paying over $85K??? Are you advertising in the wrong place, like children's magazines, or porn sites? Mental hospitals? Microsoft Monthly? Or TheRegister, with an "Only Trolls And Lunatics Welcome" logo (attached, natch)?
Gobsmacked. Utterly.
Now, I gotta get a wheelbarrow to take my jaw home. It's dragging on the floor at the moment.
Register
2252 posts • joined Wednesday 14th November 2007 11:03 GMT
Page:
No Troll...
Just an ex-GSM engineer, who kept being told when 2G would be 'turned off'. In 2004, it was 2008, then a bit more life...2011 was the last date I heard. Try to turn off 2G on your phone, you can still call..Possibly...
Of course, NMT450 got a boost when Nokia brought out it's "Ringo" phones, but the boost was only a couple of years or so. Pissed off a lot of users here in Nordic-land. Pity anyone who bought a 2G-only iPhone.
Gaming consoles? Just sounded - well, a bit 'Ginger', as Jeremy Clarkson once said.
"Britain - in the heart of Europe"
Didn't one of our Major grey politicians declare that as a hope, once?
So, how the hell can I travel anywhere else in Europe with just my Finnish Driving Licence (which doubles as an ID card that I'm happy to have*) but not back to my native Blighty?
No, I don't need a 'counterpart' for my European D/L. The police, if I'm stopped will simply scan the barcode into one of those new-fangled things called a 'Babbage Difference Engine' - aka 'Computer', and with a bit of Marconi's Magic Wire-free Invention, determine all, and I mean all about me. Like how much I earn so said magic machine can calculate the day-fine depending on my speeding , number of dependants and earnings. Ticket printed without the use of punched cards in a matter of seconds. Wondrous!
(Oh, just for light relief - I received a cheque from the taxman a week ago. For about €30. As Finns haven't really used cheques for more than a quarter of a century, and HMRC cheques are classed as a 'private cheque', Nordea Bank told me it'd cost around €100 to cash it...)
Primitive Britain? You bet. Do you folks still take a bath every Friday, whether you need it or not?
*Happy to have, 'cos if I make a large-ish purchase in a shop (say, over €50) they'll need to see it to verify the Social Secrity number. I'm comfy with that.
Not to worry.
Well done, chaps for breaking the A5/1 algorithm.
Did no-one tell you that GSM (2G) is dead in about a year or so and the 3G standard is much, much more secure? That might be why the military uses spread-spectrum. (Google for Hedey Lamarr for the 'prior art' bit*. You'll be surprised. I was.)
Oh, and China has the A5/0 algorithm, which is open (i.e., unencrypted so the chinese can spy on anyone, as usual). So?
"...was developed by volunteers around the globe using giant clusters of computers and gaming consoles.." made me snort on the pub keyboard again. Gaming consoles, FFS???
Icon, 'cos I'm in the lounge. Of the pub, natch.
*OK, as El Reg readers are in "Couch Potato" mode after the hols, I've done it for you. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hedy_Lamarr
@werrington - Mr. Bean link
Had a quick dash to the toilet before I wet myself!
Thanks for the link!
Seasons Greetings, Andus.
Ha ha ha. Hahahahaha!
Oh, really? Didn't see this one coming?
Christ-on-a-bike!
Yet, I can travel from my adopted residence of Finland to any other European country (except UK, 'cos I might be a terrist, or a Brazilian electrician, or a bit overly sun-tanned, or DWI*) with just a bloody photo driving licence.
Fuc*king jobsworth muppets. Can't really blame Gordon Brown for this fuc*k-up, which is a pity.
*DWI. Driving Whilst Islamic.
(We need a Gordon Brown icon. I'd suggest a glass eye, but Moderatrix would poke that one out of Kilt-er)
Why all the effort?
I just set fire to my letters to Santa, and let the smoke go up the chimney -
# ren uncle=bob. (IT bit, natch..OK, DEC RT11, but I'm old.)
Danger is, if the smoke's white, not black, the Catholics across the street will elect a new Pope.
Thats what they said about Bee's
"For ages Bee's flight went unexplained"
You mean bumblebee, rather than honey bee. Former nests underground, latter in man-made, expensive homes, which would rival an MP's duckhouse for comfort. See http://www.britishbee.org.uk/
Using Bee's rather than Bees suggests you're referring to either the extinct Norweigian airline, Busy Bee, or the Italian Air Bee. Yep, in which case, I agree. They both went unexplained. Or, took flight. If possible for a (bumble)bee.
I preferred Buzz, till Ryanair took it. Then, I didn't. Natch.
Merry Christmas, I'm outta here.
D'oh!
Meat flys like a banana.
Grief, get a job/girlfriend/ID card or something ;-)
"Time flies like an arrow, FRUIT FLIES like a banana."
You should get out more. 'Meat fly' is what your possible future girlfriend will be trying to unzip on a Friday night, if you're lucky.
Whoahhh!!!
Now {There's} a design concept for Vulture-1! Surely?
Ok, sorry Lester, for calling you "Shirley".
Superman could!!
Honest! He didn't even have wings. Or, does that mean I used my childhood pocket money on DC Comics (which my teacher used to confiscate as "American Trash") was wasted? Suppose the Prof's gonna say next that Santa can't possibly fly in a reindeer-pulled sledge, and wreck the kids' Christmas.
One thing, Prof. It was said by Lord Kelvin, President of the Royal Society, London, no less - to which my daughter at 6 weeks old was the youngest visitor (Sir Patrick Moore adored her) - that "Heavier than air flying machines are impossible*"
You don't need wings to be an angel. Personally, I think it's a part-time job, you don't even know you've got. Right place, right time. Pity the pay's crap - can't even bonk a Virgin as a perk nowadays, since the're an endangered species.
* Eight years later, the Wright brothers disproved this Wise Learned Gentleman.
http://ipbiz.blogspot.com/2007/09/lord-kelvin-1895-heavier-than-air.html
In Surrey's Camberley High street..
..there are - or were the last time I was there - two Macdonalds, close to each other.
One sells hardware, the other sells brownware. No conflict of interest, I suppose.
No, you can't copyright the idea..
Pub I use is run by a Vietnamese family. Their communication with each other sounds like someone's going after the other with a meat cleaver.
Example: Your first paragraph, using translate.google.fi looks like:
nó hiển nhiên là chúng tôi đang chạy ra các từ, đặc biệt là nếu công ty lớn muốn sở hữu nhiều hơn một mỗi (Windows, Word, vv)
So, it's been done already...Prior art. Very prior.
"A couple of days ago a big union got their strike plans busted by the High Court"
Same union. Unite.
I think they're getting a taste for blood. Will we see any more "Industrial Action" (my favourite oxymoron) initiated by them?
Finally..
0 = NOOOOOO-lla . (Nolla)
Myst-all-Chucking-Frighty!!!
A couple of months back, I thought they'd shot themselves seriously in the foot with an out-of-the-hat price of £500.
£650, minus half a loaf of bread? This buggers it. Pity. Looked really good.
What the hell is happening? Is someone trying to sabotage the company?
If they sell more than a couple of thousand, I'll be staggered. Even worse will be their after-sales costs, because the prats who buy this won't know how to use it and will be 'phoning the helpline every 5 minutes.
Unless that's the business model, and they stick the helpline on a premium rate, Ryanair-style. Ahhh, it's starting to get clearer...
Posted this to news@theregister.co.uk...
http://www.yle.fi/uutiset/news/2009/12/helsinki_espoo_unveil_electric_car_charge_points_1285561.html
But by the time of writing this, EL Reg couldn't be arsed to write anything about it.
Seems Danes are a bit slower than the Finns, who, in my experience, are about the slowest folks on the planet. Hare --> Tortoise --> Finn (Mika Häkkinen excepted, natch - but even so, he was only a Sunday driver. That's when the race is held, ain't it?) But, they always seem to get it done first time, on schedule, and right.
'Course it's a fake - but a bloody good one.
If you watch it a few times, see the small landing platform they have, no net behind in case one of the flyers misses the target, no padding on the cranes holding the 'bells', the unnatural flailing arm movements - mannequins, maybe? -, with no protection in front should a cannon miss the targets or malfunction, and the unnatural - theatrical - Finnglish accent of the presenter (No educated Finn talks like that. I know, I live there. Even the local drunks can pronounce better.
He sounds like he's doing a parody of the 'Swedish Chef' from the muppets. Brilliant).
Intel, Finland allowing the shooting of experienced and valued engineers from cannons? Gi's a break! We DO have Elf and Safety here too.
But, Kudos!! Nice video! Beautifully done! 10 points.
Surely, all AT&T has to do...
Is nothing.
Voice calls will still get through, having far, far less throughput. They'll use the 2G network as a fallback, anyway. No need to worry about 'pregnant mothers' or emergency calls.
MAGIC!!!!
Only the Finns would have ago at that. Beautiful! Beer icon, naturally!
Of course, there's the World phone-throwing championships (http://www.savonlinnafestivals.com/en_index.htm)
World air-guitar championships
Yet more, Wife-carrying (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wife_carrying)
Finally, surströmming eating. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iebNdCSqWmc). NSFA*
Actually, the last is something I almost bought in my supermarket at $10 today. Problem is, it smells like a cadaver, and the natural human reaction on smelling a cadaver is an intense fear-and-flight reflex. But for $10....cheaper terror than a roller-coaster...
What? You think Finland is boring??? ;-)
*Not Safe For Anywhere.
Not Nokia's tune.
They'd need 12 folks. Are there that many left?
Er..
"Are you the biggest fools for thinking it's real or am I the biggest fool for thinking you think it's real? Vote now!"
Er, which button should I press? Green, Red, or Report? I go for the latter.
You're probably quicker than the Dreamliner!
But, I bet that wasn't conceived in a pub...
First, I think you need a Japanese bloke to make it. The're good at folding paper.
Second, if you look at Butan's design for 'spaceship 1', they drop it vertically out of a practically airfree atmosphere with the tail fins at 90 degrees, until air resistance is met.
Seems to be the braking you folks are looking at.
So, some sort of simple-ish air-pressure pipe, pistons pushing the tail to 'normal flight' angle...
IANAAE*, natch
Just a thought. I look forward to living long enough to see its flight! Go, folks, GO!!!!
*I am not an aeronautical engineer.
Security???
"They breached the security of the database without authorization"
What bloody security?
As to the CEO's statement "..website was recently audited for security by penetration testers from SecurityMetrics and Adhost", firstly, is Adhost a security expert company? (dunno about the other), but then she fails to give the results of the audits. Might have been damning. McKinnon would've been a better choice of 'penetration tester'.
IANAL, natch, but they haven't got a leg to stand on, as far as I can see. As far as PR goes, a lawsuit would be a disaster for SecurityMetrics and Adhost. Maybe they'll counter-sue.
"Put a sock in it"?
Put a sock over it, more like, with that boat.
'Course, she could be reading EL Reg's advice about not giving her man pig flue (chuckle), and gone for the Reverse Cow 'girl' position. Then unless there's a mirror in the bedroom, he could just imagine he was in Paris...
Grief, her hubby needs a medal. I bloody couldn't, with any amount of beer goggles.
Almost..
I was, as a Nokia employee and a member of the team building Sweden's "3G" network, working on the Network Management System in Nokia's "NOC" - Network Operations Centre. OK, not Telia, but it'll surely follow. Unless things have changed since 2003(2002?). Kinda lost touch since I left NSN a couple of years ago.
As an aside, the building was located on the (converted) top floor of a multi-storey car park in Stockholm. The car fumes from downstairs made your eyes water sometimes.
Keyboard failure:
"Of course, Sprint has got both guns out and is blazing away at its [own] feet"
Dammit, this pub needs a plastic cover on the keyboard if I'm gonna read a line like that!
Snort! Thanks, Brett!
Well...actuallly...
I prefer to read comments from people who can spell. Like "aleged". Try "alleged". Try drugs. Try trainspotting. Try a spellchecker, if you're illiterate. Try the "preview" button, and read first. Try not being a fuc*king moron.
Nothing personal.
I finally got to see one.
Local nutter at the bar's got one.
He's been using it constantly - always on the phone. I get a couple of calls per day, he seems to get 10 per hour! Amazing.
Problem is, he's totally deaf and dumb, just makes strange unintelligible grunting sounds instead of speech, and he's as mad as a hatter. Only way he can order a beer is to point. Laser pen, natch. Early adopter, obviously.
Would've been even better if said nutter had a SIM card for it, but....keeps him happy.
But, I had a look, and it's quite neat. Physically. Without the SIM, it didn't do much, however.
Not at that price - thanks, but no thanks.
Playmobil, natch.
Go on - I dare you! Don't know if the playmobil kit has a golf club, but El Reg has proven it's got balls!
Abdullah is set*
* Abdullah == http://www.mosqueclock.com/ (go on, click the 'fun' bit.)
It'll wake the dead. And my girl. As I set the normal alarms for 10 minutes before Abdullah calls for prayer, and she hates it, she's up and turning it off before Abdullah gets me nutting the concrete at morning prayer.
Before I remember I'm not a Muslim.
Perkele!!
We're forecast clear skies (and -20 degrees centigrade - should be a "Grand night out, Grommit - don't forget the crackers"). Abdullah will get me outabed for this. But, you folks have rarely seen the Northern lights* which makes a meteor shower look as spectacular as taking a leak in the general vicinity of that ISS piss-filter up there.
*http://finland.fi/Nature_Environment/aurora/index.html
I really hope you folks see it someday. You'll weep in awe, believe me.
Keep you posted.
er, flagship stores like they HAD in Chicago...
http://forums.theregister.co.uk/forum/1/2009/12/10/nokia_stores_closing/
Y'know, I'm trying for a job at the moment. Get the usual cretinous question:
"Where do you want to be in 5 years' time"
My answer nowadays is:
"Where will YOU be in 5 years? Still in this industry, or, as most of us expect to be, shovelling shit for your daily bread? Which street do you prefer? "
Still unemployed, natch.
Price of suck sess
"Since opening the stores in NY and Chicago (2006), consumer awareness in the US has grown substantially. Weighing those dynamics with Nokia's clear strategy in North America, and our well-established retail channel with third parties, we will close these two stores (New York and Chicago) in early 2010"
So, if the BS above is correct, and everyone's heard of Apple, and it's well-established, when does Apple close it's flagship stores?
Oh, nice. Do well, work hard, promote the brand so well that you put yourself out of work. Don'cha just luuuve those much-spouted "Nokia Values"?
As the first poster noted, it's a dead company. Partially shafted by that incredibly stupid decision by that prat Simon Beresford-Wylie to nip into bed with a tainted German strumpet, and share some siemen.
Customer Awareness? More like "Customer Bewareness".
Yep. Dead as a nail on the lamp-room floor. We won't miss them. Not even in Finland, as the company base is practically Indo/Chinese nowadays.
I, for one welcome our new Huawei/LG* overlords.
*Just wait...it'll happen.
Maybe we're already ...
...in a Black Hole, no-one knows. Would we? How would it appear to us mere mortals? Dimensions would look precisely the same, surely.
However, I know what a Brown Hole looks like, having partaken of the splendid advice of El Reg and the 'Reverse Cowgirl' technique, but that's another story...
@Shonko Kid
"Paul and Ewan at least deserve some kudos for getting this far."
Bit like saying a little old lady with her Zimmer frame, shuffling painfully and pitifully up the wrong road to her house deserves some Kudos for getting so far.
Close, but absolutely NO cigar.
We're British, and therefore support the underdog. Up to a point.
(Should've got Alan Sugar on board. He'd have got it right. Credit to the bloke, you might dislike him and his arrogant attitude , but when you can pull a few hundred quid out of your pocket, then you can argue the point.)
Something to hide or to protect?
Absolutely perfectly put!
10 points for that. You're not such a 'Bumbling Fool' after all!
Piy it's £500.
Gut feeling that price will kill this before it's soiled it's first nappy. That, for this kinda machine is regrettable.
Oh, and WindowsXP? Daft. Like putting a V6 engine in a Fiat 500. Plus 800x480 resolution - fair enuf, but 32Mb display memory...WTF???? Must be a typo. if not, bye bye battery life.
I'd snap one up at €200, with Linux. Bought my missus' Asus 701 - still going strong - at €150, albeit with a €10/month, all-you-can-eat 3G modem. (2 year contract, but - so what? I use it when I travel, and with port-forwarding to the wireless modem, it's good enough at home)
I look forward to an El Reg test, when this machine actually ships.
As to the 'badge-engineered' comment above - obvious - why else would it come with TD-SCDMA (Chinese-only standard IIRC), but 3G is noted as an option? Finnish keyboard? Chinese? Nah. Yank only, it seems.
In short, this machine doesn't make sense to me. Sorry, guys.
@mhj
"...a major showstopper is that it wouldn't recognise my 3 sim card..."
So, you bought a brick. Did I get it right? Or, do you have a different SIM card so you actually bought a (cough) phone...? Pray do tell.
Statistically..shouldn't happen to me.
My missus - due to her being a healthcare worker was innoculated in the first batch to Finland. After all, she cycles around the city, making sure her customers (at home we affectionately refer to them as the 'Grand Old Ladies/Gentlemen) have taken their pills/food, and are washed, shaved and - OK - alive. Guess the idea of giving them a dose of swine 'flu wouldn't go down well.
Actually, with the health budget mentality - if enough get it and croak, it'd save a packe...Nah, Andus, you're thinking too much ZaNuLabour.
But as she's been innoculated against H1N1, and as we're 'exchanging bodily fluids' on birthdays and public holidays then I may also be immune now. Kinda 'reverse innoculation', if you get my drift. Lester's already done a Playmobil of this, something about man-juice and alien overlords - no need to reiterate. Although the 'recommended' reverse cow-girl method quoted in the article would make me an 'underlord'. At a guess.
The statistical bit - if, say 70% of Finland's population get vaccinated, then I'm far less likely to be exposed. Added to the fact I keep my bloodstream at a totally unhealthy (to bugs) level of alcohol, I'm probably the least likely in Finland to get it.
I, for one welcome our new reverse cow-girl over.., er, thingies.
Cosmopolitan...Sheesh.
Once there was an article/discussion about vibrators.
A "Wise Doctor" injoined "One should never put anything unsterilised into the vagina".
A far wiser woman replied "How would you suggest sterilising a penis? Would boiling suffice?"
Elevators...
"Yesterday, I came to work to see a handwashing station IN THE GODDAMNED ELEVATOR"
Not so odd. Think it through.
I was in China at the middle of the SARS epidemic. (I was one of the few Nokia folks from Europe to agree to go).
It immediately dawned on me to use matchsticks to press the buttons in the hotel's elevator, as that's something everyone in the hotel touched.
Never got SARS, but because I happened to sneeze - once - on my first day back, due to travelling in cattle-class and breathing relatively dry air for 14 hours, I got a weeks' free sick leave. I was absolutely fine. (Last paragraph simplified, but you get the drift).
Oh, and Missinary Position's good for us. Easier for us to hold the brown paper bags over our heads without tearing them, natch. We're both 'fugly uckers'.
Could have saved a lot of money..
...if his finger twitched. Just slightly, natch.
10 points! Good on you, folks.
Lovely piccie! Next year, I'll bet they can get a reindeer in the piccie! (Moore's law for the IT angle, natch)
Made me chuckle.
Painstaking research?
Surely, that should read "hard research"?
OK, gorrit.
@Jake
"Third, somewhat sadly, when you boil it down, it's always about the money ... live, learn, adapt, grow within your field. It's the only way to get on in life."
Yep, been there, done that.
I was General Manager of a UK software company for a couple of years, until we finally realised DEC had stopped making the VAX.
Probably got the T-shirt somewhere.
But as I'm now unemployed, I'm loving it!
As someone once said, "If you win the rat-race, you're still a rat".
Nothing personal by this, or indeed the last post, but I disagree it's only about money. If I could find a way to build toilets for villagers in third-world states (not talking London Docklands ;-), I'd do it. In fact, I was chairman for "Poor Shepherds Orphanage" in Kenya for awhile, until my mind decided to take an unscheduled excursion.
Starfish. I'd love to have that on my CV (http://www.starfishdifference.com/)
BR
-Andus
Handset volume increase?
"Handset volumes, across the industry, will apparently rise by about ten percent over the next twelve months."
Bugger. Won't be able to fit my nice Nokia folding phone into my jeans little tiny pocket anymore. 10% volume increase? Not a chance. At the moment, it's as snug as a bug in a rug. Fits perfectly.
I guess it (the pocket) will revert back to its obviously intended use of storing condoms. Sadly, the recipient of said new home hasn't increased by ten percent, no matter what spam I subscribe to.
Icon might help...it's Friday tomorrow...YESSSS!!
Funny...
..how I was thinking about Prince Philip's erroneous quote earlier today. Apt.
When he was inspecting a Scottish factory, he remarked that a piece of electrical kit "looked like it'd been installed by an Indian*".
Now, he's been proved correct. Should've used the "outsourced" word as well.
*For other readers less versed, he meant "looked like it'd been installed by a Cowboy" - being a euphamism for shoddy labourers in UK.
[QUOTE] "You've tried the cowboys now try the indians", Indian builder's van
Barbecue? A doddle.
I never can understand why barbecue fuel is made from almost-impossible-to-light material.
Why the fuc*k we don't just recycle old sofa's? I remember at school being told that "a house can be set on fire by a carelessly dropped cigarette on a sofa".
So, use sofa-stuff. For effective ignition, I guess the cigarette can't be strategically placed, but must be dropped carelessly, possibly lobbed over the shoulder, as you would do with spilt salt.
Fan?
Actually, the more I read, the more I liked. With reservations.
It's your subsequent postings, rather than the article I had objections about, but I did like the shredding ransom-notes and coloured text a lot. Happened to me, too. As a recipient, I hasten to add.
Not exactly a 'fanboi', but there's sense in there. Someplace ;-).
However, arrogance doesn't suit. Keep it off _your_ C.V., please...Same with jake. Is it a requirement of a headhunter? It's a trait I'd rather not assimilate, no matter how much money it might make me. Screwing with other peoples lives isn't something I'd be proud of.
Changing peoples lives for the better, a big fat YES!!! Just wish I knew how to.....
Well...
..if I was applying for a job as a vicar...
Slightly more seriously, by girlfriends's sister (She has 6 siblings. No condoms in Finland 50 years ago "There's a war on, and put that red bedroom light out!") is a deacon in a Lutheran church. Paid job, amazingly - and declared in her job application she has a live-in lover, who's also a very pleasant - girl.
Got the job, of course.
Slightly less amusing is the writer's rather arrogant attitude.
The "I have control of your life" bits I find annoying. Sure, he could be good at his job, but - he must be a 'merkan to brag about it all the time. It detracts from the story. If, indeed, there is one any more.
(Did like the shredder bit, however. Damn good folder for his future articles. BOFH can assist, natch)
Ransom-note fonts?? Leet-speek??
I didn't understand the first phrase - OK, I thought I did, but self-denial kicked in. Fortunately, Google fixed it for me.
REALLY? For a job paying over $85K??? Are you advertising in the wrong place, like children's magazines, or porn sites? Mental hospitals? Microsoft Monthly? Or TheRegister, with an "Only Trolls And Lunatics Welcome" logo (attached, natch)?
Gobsmacked. Utterly.
Now, I gotta get a wheelbarrow to take my jaw home. It's dragging on the floor at the moment.
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