Ikea forecasts fluffy, fully teched kitchen of the future
Thirty years from now, your kitchen will be "almost alive" and "respond actively" to your culinary needs "like only a mother could".
That's the fearsome prediction made today by that noted purveyor of plywood, Ikea, in the latest press release to make its contribution to the Silly Season in the hope of drumming up some column …
Sounds like something M$ would dream up. Something nobody wants and is expensive. Like the LCD coffee table for meetings where you virtually slide stubborn jpegs around the table. Yawn.
Though I can live without the hologram chef, it would be very useful to have a bit of software that can suggest recipes from the available items. Unless someone knows a site that'll do that already?
The other useful feature they could add to any kitchen is a self cleaning one, some kind of roomba that cleans cookers, floors, worktops, fridges & everywhere else.
"The other useful feature they could add to any kitchen is a self cleaning one, some kind of roomba that cleans cookers, floors, worktops, fridges & everywhere else."
Cooking=Fun. Cleaning up after cooking, not so much. Looking at the cooker a week after it was last cleaned, covered in oil, bits of foor etc, rather unpleasant.
Oh yes, what a delightful thing. A kitchen full of uber-complicated gadgets, software, appliances, processors etc. etc. Plenty of people can barely cope psychologically with their car or computer being defective -having to wait for it to be fixed and having to foot the bill. How wonderful it will be when everything in the house will go nuts, the wrong food will be served (and suggested), the lights will be stuck on the wrong mood, the hologram chef will keep on talking bonkers or go round like a scratched vinyl disc.. All this while waiting for the appointment with the fancy engineer to come and reboot the system, apply a new firmware, run an antivirus check, find that out-of-production spare part. Well, you get my drift - I think I will be happy to lay on my sofa and have some rest after a day of stress in work, thank you.
Can this smart kitchen sense shelf weight, temperature, and humidity to accurately predict when broken particle board and dish fragments will be on my floor?
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Ikea forecasts fluffy, fully teched kitchen of the future
Thirty years from now, your kitchen will be "almost alive" and "respond actively" to your culinary needs "like only a mother could". That's the fearsome prediction made today by that noted purveyor of plywood, Ikea, in the latest press release to make its contribution to the Silly Season in the hope of drumming up some column …
This topic is closed for new posts.
Posted Tuesday 17th August 2010 14:35 GMT
Richard Cartledge
M$ #
Sounds like something M$ would dream up. Something nobody wants and is expensive. Like the LCD coffee table for meetings where you virtually slide stubborn jpegs around the table. Yawn.
Posted Tuesday 17th August 2010 14:36 GMT
Jon Press
Plywood? #
Do you know how expensive plywood is?
IKEA flatpacks and, presumably, Intuitiv flapjacks, are mostly made of "particleboard".
Jimmy Edwards because the phrase "you can't get the wood, you know" dates to approximately his era. Although Paris could probably help.
Posted Tuesday 17th August 2010 14:36 GMT
Code Monkey
My idea of hell #
"Are you sure you should be baking another pie, Mr Code Monkey, sir?"
/me smashes the damned kitchen with hammers
Posted Tuesday 17th August 2010 14:38 GMT
Joefish
They're still going to sell meatballs though, right? #
And does the 'Splǿrj' Munce dispenser come in Birch or Oak veneer?
Posted Tuesday 17th August 2010 14:38 GMT
Tim #3
Hmmm #
Though I can live without the hologram chef, it would be very useful to have a bit of software that can suggest recipes from the available items. Unless someone knows a site that'll do that already?
The other useful feature they could add to any kitchen is a self cleaning one, some kind of roomba that cleans cookers, floors, worktops, fridges & everywhere else.
Posted Wednesday 18th August 2010 04:52 GMT
Dr. Mouse
Yep Yep Yep #
"The other useful feature they could add to any kitchen is a self cleaning one, some kind of roomba that cleans cookers, floors, worktops, fridges & everywhere else."
Cooking=Fun. Cleaning up after cooking, not so much. Looking at the cooker a week after it was last cleaned, covered in oil, bits of foor etc, rather unpleasant.
Posted Wednesday 18th August 2010 05:04 GMT
Goat Jam
Teh intertubes is all knowing #
www.myfridgefood.com
Posted Wednesday 18th August 2010 16:05 GMT
Tim #3
Excellent #
Many thanks for that, I've been looking for something like it for ages. .
It doesn't that disadvantaged by not having a hologram interface either.
Posted Tuesday 17th August 2010 14:39 GMT
TeeCee
"...noted purveyor of plywood...." #
Crikey! Been shopping at the smart end of the store have we?
"Foil coated particleboard" is the more usual fare or chipboard at the really cheap end.
Posted Tuesday 17th August 2010 14:40 GMT
Elmer Phud
Proper Kitchen #
A proper auto-kitchen will indeed detect that I'd had a great night previously and offer up that gem of a breakfast - cold pizza.
It would also know that, at times, I require merely light snacks like Mars bars, Sesame Snaps, mugs of tea . . .
Posted Tuesday 17th August 2010 14:42 GMT
Anonymous Coward
Purveyor of plywood #
Purveyer of partical board more like (chipboard to you and me).
Anyway I don't want my kitchen to respond to my culinary needs, I want it to clean itself.
Posted Tuesday 17th August 2010 14:42 GMT
Pavlovs well trained dog
I'm seeing.. #
the human cast of Wall-e (that oh-so-shitty-piece-of-shit-spew)
but instead of in space they're in Britain
and instead of 'Murkan accents they have sarf lundin ones
man, it's not a pretty thought
Posted Wednesday 18th August 2010 04:54 GMT
John Dougald McCallum
Coputerised Kitchen #
Didn't one of the big '80s computer corps(e) try that idea
Posted Wednesday 18th August 2010 04:57 GMT
Anonymous Coward
"Respond like only a mother could" #
No more wanking in the kitchen then.
Posted Wednesday 18th August 2010 04:58 GMT
Pete 2
Assumes you assembled it correctly #
Or you'll end up with your knickers int he microwave, the washing up in the fridge and your ready-meal in the dish washer.
(actually, that sounds a lot like our place after a party - never did find out who's knickers they were)
Posted Wednesday 18th August 2010 04:59 GMT
xj25vm
Maintenance #
Oh yes, what a delightful thing. A kitchen full of uber-complicated gadgets, software, appliances, processors etc. etc. Plenty of people can barely cope psychologically with their car or computer being defective -having to wait for it to be fixed and having to foot the bill. How wonderful it will be when everything in the house will go nuts, the wrong food will be served (and suggested), the lights will be stuck on the wrong mood, the hologram chef will keep on talking bonkers or go round like a scratched vinyl disc.. All this while waiting for the appointment with the fancy engineer to come and reboot the system, apply a new firmware, run an antivirus check, find that out-of-production spare part. Well, you get my drift - I think I will be happy to lay on my sofa and have some rest after a day of stress in work, thank you.
Posted Wednesday 18th August 2010 05:03 GMT
Kevin McMurtrie
Structural cohesion alert #
Can this smart kitchen sense shelf weight, temperature, and humidity to accurately predict when broken particle board and dish fragments will be on my floor?
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