Register Hardware’s hacks are always tied to their keyboards, so going into the kitchen to prepare the morning toast is a right royal pain in the bum. So imagine our collective glee when we discovered this little number.
USB_toaster The USB Toaster. What an idea!
The techie toaster may only toast one slice of bread at a time …
What sort of c*nt would buy someone this? It'd be bad enough to receive something as unbelievably lame as a USB toaster, but at least it would be sort of funny. Opening the box to find you've not actually got anything at all, however... well, I can't imagine many people seeing the funny side.
Also, this has to beat HP's record for excessive packaging.
Given than usb 1.1 is only 100mw, then i would be sceptical of the claims of this box, even before i had opened to find a pair of socks.
Now if they wanted to power it off a sony laptop battery, then thats different. Preventing the toast being burnt to a crisp would be the main challenge!
This is a work of absolute genius, it demonstrates the new business model for the Internet age. Forget actual product development, just sell the concept and the empty package. It's pure profit.
Still nowhere near enough for anything than a small slice of toast, though I did burn my fingers on a 10R resistor I was using to measure the on-load output of various USB hosts the other day.
(Technically, you have to ask the bus nicely for more than 100mA, but most hosts aren't that clever).
Of course, anyone who's read Rohan Candappa's excellent "Little Book of Wrong Shui" would know that, if you were to use this USB toaster and your toast always falls butter-side-down, simply butter the other side.
IT angle?? OK...from the book...
<quote>Attract visitors to your home by placing stereo, video, and computer equipment where they can be seen from the road..</quote>
Oh, yeah, when laying out a room, NEVER place a rock near a Hard Place.
This is thanks to the master of Wrong Shui, Master Yu Plon Ker.
Read this book on a transatlantic flight, laughed so much I thought the flight attendants were going to put me in restraints, being shortly after the incident with the "Cackling Co-pilot"
Just buy a Laptop with a certain make of battery in it and there you go, put the bread between the screen and keyboard and violá, toast. It's only a one time use though and you will need a fire extinguisher to hand to put the laptop out.
I first heard of the "eject /dev/toaster" joke at least 8 or 9 years ago - and I'm afraid the geeky sniggering is now getting to me to the point where I'm actually considering making a damn toaster that I can connect to my computer just to shut everyone up! If it had been real I wouldn't have been complaining, but come on, this is hardly original!
Register
Yes! It's the USB Toaster!
Register Hardware’s hacks are always tied to their keyboards, so going into the kitchen to prepare the morning toast is a right royal pain in the bum. So imagine our collective glee when we discovered this little number. USB_toaster The USB Toaster. What an idea! The techie toaster may only toast one slice of bread at a time …
This topic is closed for new posts.
Posted Wednesday 26th November 2008 14:49 GMT
Rik Hemsley
Hmm #
Any more jokes you found on the interwebs several years after everyone else?
Posted Wednesday 26th November 2008 14:49 GMT
Anonymous Coward
joke? #
This appeared on The Onion quite a while ago
http://store.theonion.com/gotcha-box-usb-toaster-p-71.html
Posted Wednesday 26th November 2008 14:49 GMT
mike lee
If I'm using my computer for some time... #
If I'm using my computer for some time I have access to a plug socket.
A none-USB toaster can you one of them. I know as my toaster sits next to my computer.
Posted Wednesday 26th November 2008 14:49 GMT
Jerome
Empty box? #
What sort of c*nt would buy someone this? It'd be bad enough to receive something as unbelievably lame as a USB toaster, but at least it would be sort of funny. Opening the box to find you've not actually got anything at all, however... well, I can't imagine many people seeing the funny side.
Also, this has to beat HP's record for excessive packaging.
Posted Wednesday 26th November 2008 14:49 GMT
Anonymous Coward
obviously.... #
...I didn't read the whole article.
Posted Wednesday 26th November 2008 14:51 GMT
Matt Bradley
Firewire #
"But it also supports FireWire 400 and 800 connections for all your marmalade lovin' Mac owners"
Haven't you heard? Apple don't do Firewire anymore. The macbook specs are going BACKWARDS in time...
Posted Wednesday 26th November 2008 14:51 GMT
Tim
Any USB port? #
Given than usb 1.1 is only 100mw, then i would be sceptical of the claims of this box, even before i had opened to find a pair of socks.
Now if they wanted to power it off a sony laptop battery, then thats different. Preventing the toast being burnt to a crisp would be the main challenge!
Posted Wednesday 26th November 2008 15:15 GMT
Haku
You CAN cook with USB power... #
...but you'll need 30 USB ports - http://xe.bz/aho/24/
(flames for the cooking aspect of this article)
Posted Wednesday 26th November 2008 15:20 GMT
Anonymous Coward
@100mw Tim... #
USB 1.1 is 500mA. (Amps, not watts.)
Crank out the four-slice!
Posted Wednesday 26th November 2008 15:20 GMT
Mark
A title is required. #
Good grief, this is old.
Or, as The Onion would phrase it, "Area man finds funny website on the internet; forwards to friends."
Posted Wednesday 26th November 2008 15:20 GMT
Rob Sked
RE: Empty box? #
What sort of c**t?
That'll be me. It's perfect for a secret santa gift!!
Posted Wednesday 26th November 2008 15:20 GMT
Anonymous Coward
Doesn't anybody see the problem with this? #
This is one step closer to Talkie the Toaster!! We must stop the development and sale of such a device!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RZslRQvv5zM
Posted Wednesday 26th November 2008 16:32 GMT
Andrew Moore
So... #
El Reg has become the Wayback Machine then...
Posted Wednesday 26th November 2008 16:32 GMT
Steven
I'd buy it.... #
... if it were real.
It's something satisfying that my Apple-tard colleagues couldn't claim their iPhones can do.
Bill because it would be a warm enough to burn toast where he is.
Posted Wednesday 26th November 2008 16:32 GMT
Aremmes
Behind the times #
Who cares about a single slice of toast -- give me the whole breakfast!
http://www.phys.ncku.edu.tw/~htsu/humor/fry_egg.html
Posted Wednesday 26th November 2008 16:32 GMT
Charles
Brilliant Business Model #
This is a work of absolute genius, it demonstrates the new business model for the Internet age. Forget actual product development, just sell the concept and the empty package. It's pure profit.
Posted Wednesday 26th November 2008 16:32 GMT
Joe K
Yawn #
Thats nothing, the USB George Foreman grill is FAR superior.
http://www.thinkgeek.com/stuff/looflirpa/igrill.shtml
Be sure to click "add to cart".
Posted Wednesday 26th November 2008 16:34 GMT
Steve Renouf
Too late! @ Doesn't anybody see the problem with this? #
Too late! It's already been done!
http://www.the4cs.com/~corin/cse477/toaster/FAQ.shtml
Posted Wednesday 26th November 2008 17:24 GMT
Mike Richards
In other breaking news... #
...just in from Oregon - the story of the exploding whale.
Posted Wednesday 26th November 2008 17:35 GMT
Harry
Crumbs! #
Its only a joke until everybody knows about it, and now The Reg has spilled the beans ... there's nothing left to put on the toast anyway.
Posted Wednesday 26th November 2008 22:37 GMT
Anonymous Coward
@Matt Bradley #
MacBook Pro and desktop machines all have FW800.
Posted Wednesday 26th November 2008 22:37 GMT
J
*gasp* #
WHAT!? No Linux support!? It was too good to be true...
Posted Wednesday 26th November 2008 22:37 GMT
J
@ "old joke" whiners #
There are no old jokes, just old audiences.
(I for one did not know this "toaster", for example)
Posted Wednesday 26th November 2008 22:37 GMT
Anonymous Coward
No biggie ... #
I've been using my trusty 1950s Morphy Richards (in curvy Forbidden Planet style chrome and red) as a server for years. No USB, though — it's legacy!
Posted Wednesday 26th November 2008 22:37 GMT
Charles Manning
USB wine was a bigger flop #
Bad market research. Most geeks prefer beer!
@@100mW TIm 5V @ 500mA = 2.5W. Just warm enough to provide a nice habitat for bread mold.
Posted Wednesday 26th November 2008 22:37 GMT
Rich
Bah spec violation #
USB delivers 500mA which is 2.5W.
Still nowhere near enough for anything than a small slice of toast, though I did burn my fingers on a 10R resistor I was using to measure the on-load output of various USB hosts the other day.
(Technically, you have to ask the bus nicely for more than 100mA, but most hosts aren't that clever).
Posted Wednesday 26th November 2008 22:37 GMT
Andus McCoatover
Wrong Shui #
Love it!! Nice spoof.
Of course, anyone who's read Rohan Candappa's excellent "Little Book of Wrong Shui" would know that, if you were to use this USB toaster and your toast always falls butter-side-down, simply butter the other side.
IT angle?? OK...from the book...
<quote>Attract visitors to your home by placing stereo, video, and computer equipment where they can be seen from the road..</quote>
Oh, yeah, when laying out a room, NEVER place a rock near a Hard Place.
This is thanks to the master of Wrong Shui, Master Yu Plon Ker.
Read this book on a transatlantic flight, laughed so much I thought the flight attendants were going to put me in restraints, being shortly after the incident with the "Cackling Co-pilot"
Posted Thursday 27th November 2008 02:21 GMT
Tim Brown
I double dog dare ya... #
... to make a real one. It doesn't have to actually toast anything - it just needs to talk about toast a lot. A la Red Dwarf's "Talkie Toaster".
Go on. I dares ya.
Posted Thursday 27th November 2008 02:28 GMT
Anonymous Coward
Not impressed! #
FFS, it doesn't talk!
Posted Thursday 27th November 2008 10:07 GMT
Anonymous Coward
Bit like the VAT 'reduction' #
not much more to add really.
Posted Thursday 27th November 2008 10:07 GMT
Fluffykins
More late breaking news #
Mafeking relieved.
Posted Thursday 27th November 2008 10:07 GMT
Anonymous Coward
No firewire on macbook? #
No problem, just turn the machine over and you've got space for toast and you can grill the tomatos too!
Flames, obviously...
Posted Thursday 27th November 2008 13:16 GMT
John
Mac laptop users... #
can just turn their laptops upside down and put the toast at the MagSafe corner
Posted Thursday 27th November 2008 14:15 GMT
Tim
Toasting laptops? #
Just buy a Laptop with a certain make of battery in it and there you go, put the bread between the screen and keyboard and violá, toast. It's only a one time use though and you will need a fire extinguisher to hand to put the laptop out.
Posted Friday 28th November 2008 05:05 GMT
skeptical i
re: exploding whale #
Ah, yes, the Day It Rained Meat.
g00t00b vid here -- www.youtube.com/watch?v=PZhn28_Z9wc
Mine's the rainslick with the large 'brella, please.
Posted Friday 28th November 2008 10:09 GMT
the evil ed
This is soooo old #
I first heard of the "eject /dev/toaster" joke at least 8 or 9 years ago - and I'm afraid the geeky sniggering is now getting to me to the point where I'm actually considering making a damn toaster that I can connect to my computer just to shut everyone up! If it had been real I wouldn't have been complaining, but come on, this is hardly original!
This topic is closed for new posts.