Japanese call on deities to discipline wayward PCs
Anti-virus software usually does the job, but if malicious code gets through then it can bring your PC to its knees. So a Japanese shrine’s resorted to a rather more unorthodox way of keeping laptops safe.
Japanese_laptop_blessing "Bless this laptop..."
According to a report by website IOL, the Kanda-Myojin Shinto shrine has …
No, that would not work either, it would break many right ones in the process...
But perl -pae s/dont/don't/ would, probably. :-)
Anyway, the best the Japs will do is proving yet again that prayer does not work. Unless all those laptops are running Linux or OSX? (flames! flames! is that hell or fanboys coming for me?)
C'mon. Who the hell in IT HASN'T thought, at one time or another, that computers are possessed of malicious spirits who want only to destroy your will and send you gibbering out of the computer room?
Of course, then you find that the fault is only because a hapless IT Manager came in and pressed the wrong button, requiring a cattleprod correction, but until that moment, you sincerely believe that the damned thing HATES you and WANTS you to fail.
I have been using Vista for a while and I am now totaly convinced that the networking stack is remote controlled by an evil pixie who loves to f**K with me.
It works as long as it is on my docking station, move it anywhere else in the building and kaboom, it can see a different switch so it must be a new network. Suddenly the DHCP server cannot be found. Dare I put in a static IP ect the GUI accepts it and will tell you it has applied it but do ipconfig /all from the command line and it will tell you that it has a defacto no hope IP (the 169 one)
The only explanation is the Pixie in Vista has decided it is happy where it is and does not want to be moved...
A few months back I made the joke about computer hardware needing a blood sacrifice to work properly (after cutting myself on a case) to a room full of muslims and got a laugh.
I can understand having supernatural beliefs about things humanity doesn't fully understand. The health of our bodies, for example. Maybe there's some kind of soul thing in there, who knows. But superstition in computing? We built these machines, for fuck's sake. We understand every bit (pun!) about what's going on inside the world's boxen.
Can only be done with a cattle prod. And for extra efficiency it is better to target the user. Did I say target I meant of course bless the user with some high voltage insight.
"C'mon. Who the hell in IT HASN'T thought, at one time or another, that computers are possessed of malicious spirits who want only to destroy your will and send you gibbering out of the computer room?"
I used to have that problem, then I got rid of Windows! The curse was lifted that very day.
I know the japanese are generally found to be short through genes/race/ancestry etc, but suggesting they are hobbits living in the 'shire' is a bit much, eh? ;-)
You might want to consider the religion in question.
Shinto has a central tenet that ALL objects, whether animate or inanimate have a soul known as a kami. (If you travel in Japan you will see shrines to kami almost everywhere - at rocks, ancient trees, hot springs and so on). If you build an object, it possesses a kami, and depending on how you build it, the kami will either be good or bad; which has actually influenced Japanese product design.
Because objects are thought to have a spirit, there is a long history of building things with the highest quality components and a perfect finish; also, how they look is thought to influence the mood of the kami - so the arrangement of the front radiator and lights on a Japanese cars often form a smily 'face', and so on...
So this ceremony might not protect a PC, but it does fit in seamlessly with the idea of appeasing and protecting a computer's kami.
So this isn't some sad, PR trendy initiative by "the church" to ensure that the "young'uns" don't forget about religion in their quest to achive techno-nirvana?! Just checking.
I visited this shrine back in May, and yes it is under 5 minutes walk away from Akiba. The reason Kanda Myoujin may have started offering this service is it's traditionally been a place to pray for success in business. I watched as suits would wonder up to the shrine, pray, then head off to their business meetings.
Hm I wonder if next time I'm there I'll be able to get a wireless signal (and also find the shop that sells the ginger flavored sake).
"C'mon. Who the hell in IT HASN'T thought, at one time or another, that computers are possessed of malicious spirits who want only to destroy your will and send you gibbering out of the computer room?"
Me, for one.. I'm that IT Manager you're talking about of course.
there's a sound technical reason to sacrifice a couple of chickens or the occasional goat, preferably by the light of a full moon, from time to time! mainframes, of course, require something more.
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Japanese call on deities to discipline wayward PCs
Anti-virus software usually does the job, but if malicious code gets through then it can bring your PC to its knees. So a Japanese shrine’s resorted to a rather more unorthodox way of keeping laptops safe. Japanese_laptop_blessing "Bless this laptop..." According to a report by website IOL, the Kanda-Myojin Shinto shrine has …
This topic is closed for new posts.
Posted Friday 12th September 2008 18:20 GMT
amanfromMars
Ancient Wisdoms Future Knowledge #
The patient hunter is superior warrior. Eastern Mysticism @ ITs Sublime Work.
Posted Friday 12th September 2008 18:20 GMT
Hrishikesh
Plug'n'Pray? #
I thought it is called "Windows"?
Posted Friday 12th September 2008 18:20 GMT
Chris
It's been done #
http://www.bbspot.com/News/2005/11/faith_based_firewalls.html
Posted Friday 12th September 2008 18:20 GMT
Tom
Spell checkers dont beat proof reading #
perl -pae s/shire/shrine/
Posted Friday 12th September 2008 18:20 GMT
Mycho
Not that new. #
Back in the 90s there was a new age shop in Peterborough that offered a similar service as a courtesy. For real, I was there.
Posted Friday 12th September 2008 19:06 GMT
ratfox
Japanese... #
Messing with our mind since forever!
Posted Friday 12th September 2008 19:38 GMT
kain preacher
Hey damn it #
I copy righted the phrase plug in pray© back in 1995. The Reg owe me money . Issues DMCA take down notice to the reg
Posted Friday 12th September 2008 19:38 GMT
J
Re: Spell checkers dont beat proof reading #
Hm...
perl -pae s/by/buy/
No, that would not work either, it would break many right ones in the process...
But perl -pae s/dont/don't/ would, probably. :-)
Anyway, the best the Japs will do is proving yet again that prayer does not work. Unless all those laptops are running Linux or OSX? (flames! flames! is that hell or fanboys coming for me?)
Posted Friday 12th September 2008 21:28 GMT
Ron
Typo in article? #
Instead of
"The shire's located, unsurprisingly, near Akihabara",
you might have meant
"The shrine's located, unsurprisingly, near Akihabara".
Posted Friday 12th September 2008 21:28 GMT
Kevin
Well #
Sony laptop owners will definitely need it with their great Quality Control.
Flames for obvious reasons ;)
Posted Friday 12th September 2008 21:28 GMT
Iamfanboy
kami no kyonpuuta #
C'mon. Who the hell in IT HASN'T thought, at one time or another, that computers are possessed of malicious spirits who want only to destroy your will and send you gibbering out of the computer room?
Of course, then you find that the fault is only because a hapless IT Manager came in and pressed the wrong button, requiring a cattleprod correction, but until that moment, you sincerely believe that the damned thing HATES you and WANTS you to fail.
Posted Friday 12th September 2008 22:31 GMT
Sean Nevin
Technical Blessings... #
...can only be done with duct tape. That will keep out the evil nicely.
Posted Saturday 13th September 2008 07:44 GMT
Anonymous Coward
Vista networking is controlled by evil spirits #
I have been using Vista for a while and I am now totaly convinced that the networking stack is remote controlled by an evil pixie who loves to f**K with me.
It works as long as it is on my docking station, move it anywhere else in the building and kaboom, it can see a different switch so it must be a new network. Suddenly the DHCP server cannot be found. Dare I put in a static IP ect the GUI accepts it and will tell you it has applied it but do ipconfig /all from the command line and it will tell you that it has a defacto no hope IP (the 169 one)
The only explanation is the Pixie in Vista has decided it is happy where it is and does not want to be moved...
Bill? Why you have to ask?
Posted Saturday 13th September 2008 07:44 GMT
Anonymous Coward
Actually, this reminds me... #
A few months back I made the joke about computer hardware needing a blood sacrifice to work properly (after cutting myself on a case) to a room full of muslims and got a laugh.
Posted Saturday 13th September 2008 07:44 GMT
Anonymous Coward
Why ever not #
I've met tech support is less effective than prayer.
Actually a few targetted sacrifices could also deal with the problem.
Posted Saturday 13th September 2008 07:44 GMT
Christopher Martin
Muhammad H. Christ #
I can understand having supernatural beliefs about things humanity doesn't fully understand. The health of our bodies, for example. Maybe there's some kind of soul thing in there, who knows. But superstition in computing? We built these machines, for fuck's sake. We understand every bit (pun!) about what's going on inside the world's boxen.
This story is nothing but depressing.
Posted Saturday 13th September 2008 07:44 GMT
Ebony Bandera
Somebody has to do it #
That should be "Prug and Pray"
...mine's the one with the "Sorry about Nagasaki" lapel pin.
Posted Saturday 13th September 2008 07:44 GMT
Ismael
@Ron #
That's right, there's a typo.
Everybody knows that the Shire is located at the northwest of the Fangorn Forest, near the vilage of Bree, across the Dark Forest.
There's no way the Shire can be located near Akihabara.
Paris, 'cause she has a crush on hobbits.
Posted Saturday 13th September 2008 07:44 GMT
wim
Techical Blessings #
Can only be done with a cattle prod. And for extra efficiency it is better to target the user. Did I say target I meant of course bless the user with some high voltage insight.
Posted Saturday 13th September 2008 16:41 GMT
Dana W
@ Iamfanboy #
"C'mon. Who the hell in IT HASN'T thought, at one time or another, that computers are possessed of malicious spirits who want only to destroy your will and send you gibbering out of the computer room?"
I used to have that problem, then I got rid of Windows! The curse was lifted that very day.
Posted Saturday 13th September 2008 16:41 GMT
Steven Raith
I'm surprised no-ones made the connection.... #
The Ghost In The Machine...
Now becomes
The Holy Ghost In The Machine.
I'll accept my £5 for the Worst Pun prize.
Steven R
PS: Just to add to Rons observation:
I know the japanese are generally found to be short through genes/race/ancestry etc, but suggesting they are hobbits living in the 'shire' is a bit much, eh? ;-)
Posted Saturday 13th September 2008 16:42 GMT
Mike Richards
@ Christopher Martin #
You might want to consider the religion in question.
Shinto has a central tenet that ALL objects, whether animate or inanimate have a soul known as a kami. (If you travel in Japan you will see shrines to kami almost everywhere - at rocks, ancient trees, hot springs and so on). If you build an object, it possesses a kami, and depending on how you build it, the kami will either be good or bad; which has actually influenced Japanese product design.
Because objects are thought to have a spirit, there is a long history of building things with the highest quality components and a perfect finish; also, how they look is thought to influence the mood of the kami - so the arrangement of the front radiator and lights on a Japanese cars often form a smily 'face', and so on...
So this ceremony might not protect a PC, but it does fit in seamlessly with the idea of appeasing and protecting a computer's kami.
Posted Saturday 13th September 2008 16:42 GMT
b166er
perhaps blessing the laptops #
will encourage the owners somehow to not click on the 'your pc is infected click here to remove them' links anymore?
After all, subsequent to the blessing, they'll believe their machine invincible and that there is no possible way they could be infected.
Posted Monday 15th September 2008 08:52 GMT
Anonymous Coward
Cool! #
Sounds like a viable alternative to Norton ghost!
Posted Monday 15th September 2008 08:52 GMT
The Fuzzy Wotnot
Ah... #
So this isn't some sad, PR trendy initiative by "the church" to ensure that the "young'uns" don't forget about religion in their quest to achive techno-nirvana?! Just checking.
Posted Monday 15th September 2008 08:52 GMT
Anonymous Coward
Isn't #
Isn't one of the computers in that image a mac?
Posted Monday 15th September 2008 12:27 GMT
Anonymous Coward
IIRC that some temples in Dehli... #
Offer a service where you can text your prayer to a priest and he performs Puja on your behalf.
Posted Monday 15th September 2008 12:27 GMT
Dapprman
Not Surprised with this Shrine #
I visited this shrine back in May, and yes it is under 5 minutes walk away from Akiba. The reason Kanda Myoujin may have started offering this service is it's traditionally been a place to pray for success in business. I watched as suits would wonder up to the shrine, pray, then head off to their business meetings.
Hm I wonder if next time I'm there I'll be able to get a wireless signal (and also find the shop that sells the ginger flavored sake).
Posted Monday 15th September 2008 14:08 GMT
Register Reader
Err.. #
"C'mon. Who the hell in IT HASN'T thought, at one time or another, that computers are possessed of malicious spirits who want only to destroy your will and send you gibbering out of the computer room?"
Me, for one.. I'm that IT Manager you're talking about of course.
Posted Wednesday 17th September 2008 21:19 GMT
paul bell
Technical Blessings #
there's a sound technical reason to sacrifice a couple of chickens or the occasional goat, preferably by the light of a full moon, from time to time! mainframes, of course, require something more.
Posted Saturday 20th September 2008 12:40 GMT
rick buck
In Shrined #
Well, Anything is better than Gateway's warranty!!!!
This topic is closed for new posts.